Those Stinkin' Leaves

Posted by Bruce Ham on December 6, 2013 

raking

Raking! AHHHH!

I really think God made a mistake when he created trees. Not the tree itself, they're necessary and in most cases very attractive to the eye. But why did He have the leaves fall off? Huge, huge mistake.

Why can't they just stay on there? They could still turn colors. I'm even fine with them being brown in the winter. Imagine, green for spring and summer; multicolored for fall and then brown in the winter. Actually, if He was really concentrating when He tackled the whole tree deal, if He would have really thought this through, He would have had them turn white in the winter. Now wouldn't that be nice, huh?

I think the whole seven days thing really cut into his creativity. He would have much greater success had he taken billions of years to create our world.

When we first bought our house, I raked until I had hemorrhoids. I literally thought my insides were coming out. I had blisters on my hands the size of quarters. I couldn't hold the offering plate when it came by my pew at church after a Saturday in the yard. He should have thought these things through. Less leaves, more financial support for the kingdom.

I have this obsession with grass which does not help the situation. I work so hard for the green, aerating and seeding, which has to occur in the fall. And then, without fail, those dang leaves fall. We go through this every single year.

Since we've lived on Smallwood Drive, we've lost about 7 large oaks in hurricanes which has drastically cut down on the number of hours I spend with blower and rake in hand. Thank goodness.

I don't have any warm memories of playing in a big pile of leaves as a kid. I don't think they have trees in Fayetteville where I grew up. They don't have much fescue grass either. In the sandhills they grow centipede which would grow over your children as they play in your yard.

I think I'll move back home. Less leaves, great grass and likely less discomfort in the derriere.

Purchase Danny's Book: Laughter, Tears and Braids or at Quail Ridge Books in Raleigh

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