I am sorry for the loss of your twins. I wish there was a magic cure for infertility. It is the most frustrating thing I've ever been through.

For me, persistence paid off. It took four miscarriages, a failed IUI, three rounds of clomid, $1300 in unused fertility drugs and almost six years for me to have two babies all on my own.

Throughout all of the frustration, I found it helpful to talk about what was happening. Whether it was with my doctor, husband or a forum, like this, with other people who have gone through the same experiences. They're just words but sometimes the best comfort is to know you're not going through this alone.

Here are some links that could help:

General info on IVF:
WebMD

An inspiring story from The N&O archives:
Katrina baby

My reproductive endocrinologist's website is also a good resource:
Carolina Conceptions

As for your miscarriage, has your doctor identified a specific reason? Has he/she given you a reason why you can no longer conceive on your own?

The good news is doctors don't know everything. I'm proof of that. Good luck with the transfer this week. Keep us posted on how it goes.

I conceived through IVF at Carolina conceptions on our first try!!!. Grace Couchman (Amazing Grace) was our doc and did our transfer. Awesome care from her and all the staff. It had been a long haul prior to that, so good luck. At least you are past the Clomicidal mood swings! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

I'm at Carolina Conceptions, too. She did my FET this morning, and I'm feeling pretty good. This could be the time it works.

I don't have a reason why I miscarried or why my tubes are scarred (the cause of my ectopic and current infertility). When I had the miscarriage, my reproductive history was totally clean, so it was written off as "one of those things, a fluke, we'll probably never know why." That lack of knowing why things are happening (and the doctors' seeming lack of any desire to find out) has been the most frustrating thing about this experience.

I was diagnosed with PCOS last year, and went to the Duke Fertility Clinic, and I was one of the lucky ones that got pregnant with Clomid only. However, I just wanted to recommend them for anyone, the care was excellent and they were extremely knowledgeable.

Not knowing is definitely the hard part of infertility. I wish my doctors had found something wrong so they could fix it.

How are you feeling? When can you test? Are you scheduled to have your beta done?

Hopefully this is your month!

I'm feeling really good, thanks for asking. My beta is scheduled for June 5, but I am not at all patient. I've been testing for days (in all fairness, my husband eggs me on).

At the moment, it looks like I'm pregnant. Chalk up another victory for "Amazing Grace!"

(but I feel the need to add that it's reeeaaaally early. I'm not sure I'll actually believe this pregnancy will end in a baby until I'm in the delivery room).

How did your test go?  I felt the same way with my second son. I didn't believe it was going to happen until he was born. I went to labor and delivery so many times to have him checked out that the nurse told me I could wallpaper a room with my discharge papers. I hope all is well!! 

It went great! My beta was really good, and I get to have an ultrasound next week. I'm hoping that will put to rest my fears of another ectopic.

That's wonderful!

I am glad the beta went well and that they're doing the ultrasound. You will feel better once you see the little bean on the screen. I am sure everything is fine!

How are you feeling?

Keep us posted!

Hey there, Anonmom. See The Infertility Treadmill I just posted. Hope it helps.

My husband and I just went through 3 years of trying to have a child. He and I are in the small category where we are both infertile. We have been given a 2% chance of having a child on our own without use of donor sperm or IVF. Insemination is not an option for us because we have less than a million sperm and you need 2 million for a relatively successful chance. I am 35 and he is 36. We feel that we only have about 15,000 dollars that will be coming from savings and a retirement account. WE decided that donor sperm was not for us and He and I are both tired of the Clomid and the emotional roller coaster. Clomid made me extremely moody and it made him extremlely aggitated and aggresive. Clomid is now being used for men to stimulate sperm production. Unfortunatley there is not much documentation on this method of infertility treatment and it doesn't seem to be successful over all anyway. IVF is to expensive for us to consider paying that much money for a 50% chance. I think it and the other options are wonderful if they are successful but if they aren't then you become more and more dissapointed and financially strapped. He and I have decided to pursue adoption and will pretty much have an infant in our home one day. The wait will be well worth it and just the fact that he and I no longer have to take pills and go into little rooms to have samples collected is a relief. I pray that all of you are succesful in your journey to have a child but most importantly I pray that you all find peace within yourselves if the journey proves unsuccessful for you to have child.  For me this has been the hardest hurdle for me to overcome. I who am infertile and who has a husband who is infertile live in a fertile world and I work around younger fertile women with fertile partners. There have now been 5 consistent pregnancies in the last couple of years that I have been at my job. I can't tell you how dissapointing and sad it has been at times to hear the baby stories and see the ultrasounds and pregnant bellies when you know that this will in all reality never be the stories that you tell. The adoption process has been my saving grace and for that I am thankful.

It's very important for you to know the exact problem, if your eggs are in perfect condition then you should think about a surrogate. I don't think it's the case for a donor sperm, you already got pregnant before. Your partner should make some tests too, this way you'll know what options you got left.

To bamafeline:
Have you considered an IVF vacation? It's still somewhat expensive, and you'd still have to take 3 weeks off from work, but it's cheaper than doing IVF here in the states. Here's a list of sites that you could potentially do this: http://tinyurl.com/ma9n6v and if you google IVF vacation, there is a site about getting IVF in the Czech Republic... Of course, I must disclose that I have not used these services, but I have friends who are seriously considering... Good luck!

It can be so hard to see everyone else getting pregnant and having babies-- it's not hopeless, but it sure can feel that way!