Almost everyone has a big baby shower for the first baby. In my case, there were three of us in my office due within four weeks of each other, so we had a big joint shower. I got some gifts that I had no clue what they would be used for in the coming months. That diaper genie thing really had me confused. There were lots of adorable baby clothes which were perfect for my first child who was not a spitter-upper. My second child spent his first several months in non-descript, often stained onesies.

I think that there should be a tradition of a 10-year shower. (Maybe it could be combined with a book group discussion of The Ten-Year Nap, which I raved about a couple weeks ago.) Ten years after giving birth, all of your friends come together and give you the stuff you REALLY need for the coming tween and teen years. I have some ideas…see if you can add any:

1. One gross (a dozen dozen) of plain white T-shirts. There will be at LEAST 144 times over the coming years when your child will come to you at 10 p.m. to let you know that he/she needs a plain white T-shirt for a project tomorrow.

2. Speaking of projects…an unlimited supply of posterboard will come in handy. And for good measure, a dozen or so of those tri-fold posterboard things. And colored markers that never dry out no matter how often they are left out without their caps.

3. Two cases of Ziploc bags…quarts and gallons, please. You have no idea of the variety of uses for these brilliant inventions.

4. A plan to put all forms for sports, school and other activities into a standard format. Put your information into one file and Voila! Insta-form for everything you have to fill out for years to come. I have all of the information on one sheet and one year I tried printing out, attaching it to the school form and writing “see attached.” They weren’t buying that plan. Better yet, implant a chip in our kids with all that information. Then they can just walk by a scanner and the school, dance class, baseball team, etc. will have everything they need.

5. A one-week intensive class for each child on taking responsibilities for one’s wants and needs. Special attention will be focused on the process for dealing with a dwindling supply of milk, Hershey’s chocolate, Frosted Flakes and other things that Mom does not indulge in. PUT IT ON THE SHOPPING LIST. A full day will be spent on the concept of giving Mom written notice of any activities so she can put it on the master calendar. Telling Mom while she is putting make-up on for work does not count as official notification.

6. And speaking of master calendars … we all have our own ways of keeping our master calendars. How about if someone developed a standard master calendar that could be merged with the master calendars of all of one’s friends? Just think, my daughter could need to stay after school and be picked up and I could look and see that Marcy’s son needs to be picked up as well. Then Marcy and I could whine at each other about who has the best excuse to NOT do it.

7. Chip clips. I cannot emphasize the importance of chip clips in the average kitchen frequented by teens and tweens. No matter how many you have, you don’t have enough.

8. Teachers could participate in a way that wouldn’t cost them a dime. Just give us a card that reads, “There will be no projects for the rest of your child’s school career.” We’re fine with research papers and the like, but we want to be freed from the hot glue gun, posterboard, procrastinated and then freaked-out-about projects.

9. Cash. Lots of it. For all the last minute requests. Mom, my lunch account ran out. I need $8 cash for a field trip by tomorrow morning. Today is the book fair!

I have a feeling that if we had the proposed ten-year showers, they would be much more fun than the original baby showers. First of all, the guest of honor could drink wine. She wouldn’t be seated in the only chair in the house big enough to accommodate her gargantuan form. She wouldn’t have to get up to pee after opening each present. And she wouldn’t have to figure out how the heck to get the stupid diaper genie to work!

So, what would YOU like for your 10-year shower?

Diane appears Wednesdays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Di at her blog Live and Let Di.