I have whined mentioned in the past that going out in public with twins tends to garner a lot of attention.  Mostly from people who ask, "Are they twins?"  Even though the question got old to me quite a while ago, I have tried to cut everyone some slack.  I figured it was just small talk.  Those who stopped to gawk at my cute babies wanted to have something to say.  I can appreciate that.

But I have since come to the conclusion that there are actually more than a few people who don't quite comprehend that having twins simply means having two babies at the same time.  Most twins are fraternal.  They look no more or less alike than other siblings.  The first hint at the confusion has been the number of people who have asked me if mine are fraternal or identical after learning that one is a boy and one is a girl. 

I realize that most people haven't given twins nearly as much thought as I have.  When you've never spent months with two babies vying for the good spot between your third and fourth rib, the concept is a bit more elusive.  But even most preschoolers can tell you that boys and girls have different parts.  Different is not identical.

One women in particular was surprised to find out they were fraternal because of "some similarity around the eyes."  She seemed to be trying to convince me that perhaps I was mistaken and insisted that sometimes boys and girls are identical.  I politely acknowledged the family resemblance and refrained from screaming, "What part of identical don't you understand?"

Another indicator that people think twin means "looks similar" as opposed to "is the same age" comes from the fact that I have been getting the question "Are they twins?" almost as often about my older kids.  You know, the ones who were born nearly three years apart.  When I say no, a common response is "But they look so much alike."  That might be true.  Okay, that's definitely true.  But that doesn't make them twins, it makes them related.

The most awkward though are the ones who don’t even need to ask.  We’ve had at least three individuals comment on how cute our family is with our “two sets of twins.”  I don’t want to argue with anyone who thinks my family is cute.  I really don’t.  And I’m not even sure if it matters whether or not I correct strangers who choose to make this assumption.  I figure being polite is never wrong so sometimes we just say thank you and move on, smiling and nodding.

When someone asks, "Are they twins?" and actually seems to want to know, I now have to take a moment and make sure I know about which kids he or she is asking.  Otherwise, I might give the wrong answer.  Then again, perhaps I should just start telling people that I have quads.  I wonder if anyone would believe that.

Mandy appears weekends on TriangleMom2Mom.