When I was pregnant with my first child, my neighbor gave birth to her fifth.

Arriving home from work one day, I noticed a blue bow in her yard. I grabbed a bottle of wine and rang the doorbell. My neighbor answered the door, still looking top-heavy.

I was confused. Did she have the baby or didn’t she?

She had. She just hadn’t pinged back to her pre-baby size instantaneously. It was a shocking realization, one that sent me straight to

Old Navy, where I plucked a couple pairs of comfy, elastic-waisted pants off the racks for my first post-partum weeks.

'Fess up: Who out there packed their pre-baby jeans to take along to the hospital, believing oh-so-mistakenly that they’d fit once baby had made its grand entrance?

Thanks to my neighbor, I wasn’t quite so naïve – or hopeful.

It’s a matter of extreme preoccupation for most mothers, or mothers-to-be: Body after baby. Is there one?

BabyCenter.com wondered the same thing, so they surveyed more than 7,000 moms on their experience with weight gain and weight loss in the first two years after their babies’ birth.

Seems that I’m not the only who nursed a few misconceptions about pregnancy weight. “Nine months on, nine months off” is what I’d always heard. But that wasn’t the experience of the moms who responded to the Babycenter survey. Sixty-five percent of moms of newborns said they expected to have lost their pregnancy weight within a year. But more than half of moms of babies older than I said they hadn’t been successful.

That’s not to say that no mom is slim and trim in record time. Glossy magazines tout celebrity moms practically waltzing out of the hospital in their Lycra-enhanced designer jeans.

And nearly 20 percent of moms surveyed said they’d lost all their weight by their baby’s three-month birthday.

Losing baby weight, it turns out, can be particularly hard because the fatigue that goes hand in hand with newborn babies makes it challenging to summon enough energy to exercise. And who has time to cook healthy meals? It’s much easier – and quicker --  to grab a candy bar between feedings.

One way to avoid having to lose so much weight is to avoid putting it on in the first place. I remember my mother telling me how her obstetrician kept her on a strict diet – a gain of no more than 20-25 pounds. Now, standards are more relaxed, yet 42 percent of moms polled still gained more than the recommended 35 pounds.

Weight is one thing. Distributing that weight is another.

More than half the moms surveyed said their bodies are different from the ones they had before baby. Think wider hips (check) and saggy tummy (“mommy fluff,” as one responder termed it). Up to two years after giving birth, 87 percent of women said their belly ain’t what it used to be.

What’s worse is that half the women surveyed said they’d fielded negative comments about how they looked from parents or in-laws! Shouldn’t they just be appreciative they’ve got grandchildren? Fortunately, only 5 percent said their significant others critiqued their larger selves.

It all adds up to bad karma for body image: About 65 percent of mothers polled said they don’t like their bodies.

I’m not suggesting that we women shouldn’t be concerned with how we look, shouldn’t cringe at the ways pregnancy has scarred our bodies. But it’s also worthwhile to take a step back and marvel at what those same stretch-marked, jiggly, untoned bodies have accomplished. A few brave mommas obviously share my sentiments; they sent in pictures of their post-baby bellies to accompany the survey.

Some are flat as a tabletop. Others resemble the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in “Ghostbusters.” Regardless, they deserve respect.

Those bellies grew babies. I can’t think of a better reason to carry a few extra pounds around.

Remember those elasticized pants from Old Navy?

I still wear them -- but only to bed.

Bonnie appears Saturdays on TriangleMom2Mom.