I've been out of the baby shower groove for years now. It’s been a long time since one of my circle of friends has been capable of or interested in conception at all. Except perhaps our focus on making sure that our daughters avoid it at all costs!

A cyber-friend of mine, Chris at What-a-Mother, who does NOT live anywhere near here, received a baby shower invitation that ran to two pages full of demands wrapped in fluffy, cutesy, quasi-nauseating poetry. In addition to a gift, she was instructed that instead of a card, she should bring a children’s book. Not just any children’s book, mind you (like I probably would have dug through my kids’ collection and found the least mutilated one), but a SIGNED children’s book.

The invitation further mandated that each guest bring blankets, bottles, or anything blue. The kicker was a sing-songy verse that informed the potential “guest” that if she would like to be included in a drawing for a door prize, she should “bring a little extra from the heart” (such as a package of diapers…cloth or plastic, Huggies or Pampers, oh, the decisions!) And really, who wants to walk in without the diapers and have everyone say, “Oh, look, Di didn’t bring a gift from the heart. I don’t think she has a heart anyway. Read her blog. She clearly hates kids.”

For me, the RSVP would have been quick and painless. “Sorry, I cannot attend.” I would probably still send a gift of MY choosing, most likely purchased online. My life, and certainly the lives of those who are still in the baby shower era, is already overflowing with the obligations, demands and dictates of my family.

If an invitation with much simpler requirements came, I would probably happily RSVP “Yes.” I don’t think I would be so gauche as to ask, but I would be secretly hoping that:

1. It’s a child-free event

2. Wine is served

3. Stupid shower games would be kept to a minimum

And instead of being irritated at the demands and tempted, as Chris was, to bring some generic diapers wrapped in tacky paper with a 99 cent card. I would probably find something adorable and unique online, like one of these:

Or maybe even this:

Besides being locally produced by Karen Anderson in Holly Springs, these kinds of gifts make the giver feel great and presumably make the expectant mother feel that the giver went to great lengths to find just the right gift. I don’t think baby showers are a time to dictate the mundane practicality of packages of diapers (but if that is a gift you want to give, more power to you!) And if you REALLY want to be practical…when the baby is a little older, pick up a package of diapers at the store and bring it to the Mom when you go over to TAKE CARE OF THE BABY for an hour or two while the Mom goes to Starbucks and remembers what it’s like to be a person, rather than just a Mom for a while.

I think showers are a time to celebrate the mother-to-be at what might be the last event at which she is the center of attention. I hope that we can keep them celebratory and fun instead of another chore and another example of the rest of the world telling you what to do!

Di appears every Saturday on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Di at her blog Live and Let Di.