A mom wants to know what to do about her child's preschool classmate, who is bossy. Maggie Connolly, child care program director at the FPG Child Development Institute in Chapel Hill, has an answer.

The question: There's a little girl in my daughter's preschool class who is really dominant. She's very bossy and, even at 3, plays kids off of each other. One day, she's best friends with one child, the next day she's best friends with another. She can really be mean. And she's upset my daughter many times. Is there anything I can do about this situation? Or do I just need to let her deal with it on her own.

The response: First, it helps to understand that this behavior is normal at 3, 4 and 5 years of age. And even if there wasn't a child who is bossy and mean in the class — at this age, daily changes in friends is common place. Yes, you do need to let your child deal with it alone. However, it would be helpful to your child for you to share your own ideas about how you would deal with this child. Children, like adults, do not need to like everyone, and I would tell your child to stay away from the bossy one and choose someone else to play with. When your child has the language and confidence to tell the other child how she feels, encourage her to express herself to the child who is mean and bossy. She needs to begin to get that message, because they are all trying to figure out social rules.

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