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To Buy or Not to Buy...that is the question (at least for me)
Yesterday Flipper came home with something that felt very normal-school: an order form for a fundraiser. And it is a clever fundraiser for the 8th grade class trip; you pay a smallish sum for a slice of pizza delivered every Wednesday for 11 weeks for lunch.
My (silly) reaction? TOTAL WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER PARENTS WOULD THINK IF I SIGNED FLIPPER UP FOR THIS.
I almost called my friend Justine to talk me off the ledge, as it were, but my fear of her derision at worry over parenting peer pressure scared me more than the thought of other parents talking about me behind my back. Would they think I was feeding her awful food? Never mind that the pizza is bought and therefore supported by the very school she attends, my worry knew no bounds. Was I setting up some weird dynamic whereby other kids in her class that did not opt into the pizza would feel bad? Was I over-thinking this to death? (I think we know the answer to THAT, don't we).
Tinging that worry was the realization that I was a total idiot; was I really this susceptible to imaginary peer pressure at the age of 41? Obviously, the answer is yes, I am. Usually I (like most parents) forge blithely ahead, making decisions that I agonize over in private only, usually in the middle of the night. I haven't been too concerned about what folks think of my choices, perhaps because I am largely surrounded by people that I am in sync with.
But...pizza??? What on earth was going on? Frankly, I still don't know. I did turn the form in, and ran into another parent outside the room that held up her form and said, "So, pizza. What do you think about this?" Isn't it always a good feeling to realize that you aren't the only over-thinking mother around? I think it is. So we talked about it a few minutes; I said that, basically, Flipper really wanted it and I couldn't come up with a good "no" and we would see how it goes. I think she felt the same way; her child definitely wanted the pizza (surprise surprise) and yet she felt uneasy too. But I don't think peer pressure-or the fear of judgement-ever really goes away. Even about pizza.
Leigh appears Fridays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Leigh on her blog Flipper and Me.
Leigh Sparacino
Leigh is a TriangleMom2Mom featured blogger, appearing every Monday.
Leigh grew up in Durham, attended college in North Carolina, left the area for an island off the coast of Georgia, the high mountains of Colorado, and her favorite mountains in western North Carolina, before returning to the Triangle eight years ago. She lives near Carrboro with her 4.5-year-old daughter Flipper and two dogs. She is single in marital status only, surrounded by friends, family, and her daughter's very involved and loving father. She works part-time and tries to be as involved as possible in her daughter's school, The Emerson Waldorf School, where Flipper is a kindergartner. She likes wood, glass and other natural materials for toys, loves the principles of Waldorf education and hates plastic. She might be the only person in the world with no TV and who hasn't been to a movie in 15 years, but races to the mailbox every Saturday for the most recent issue of People magazine. In other words, a contradiction. Or just human.
Comments
Pizza-pressure....the new adult peer pressure!
LOL! I recently had that experience with school pictures. Last year I was one of the few parents in my kids class who didn't buy pictures (you have to order ahead of time and they sepereate the kids during the session) and my kids were upset. But the pictures are SO expensive through school.