I f you feel your child is in danger, you can contact Social Services and ask them to conduct an in home investigation. Sadly in NC , I was told if one parent is doing drugs and thier significant other is not, and the child is being watched and cared for there is no recourse. It made me want to scream. Secondly, you , yourself can go to the court house and request an Exparte order, to remove the child from thier home , if you fill that your child is in intermediant danger or in harms way so to speak. Make sure you have straight facts, these judges look out for the best interest of the child, not you. Also, when you request an Exparte order, the courts automatically send a Social Worker to both homes of the parents. Also, go back to Legal Aide and be persistant, every year attorneys donate their time pro bono to the state for civil and criminal cases.keep requesting help and do not give up! Because of the fact that you were in an abusive relationship , there is a lot of recourse for you out there. Was your ex husband awarded custody by the state? Were you in the state when the order was given? Or were you charged with abandonment? I have to ask as a mother if you feared for your life, why did you leave your child? Do you know the statistics for the abuse eventually going to the child? Here is a link to give you information and to help you.

Interact- provides attorneys for domestic abuse. Read this article.
http://www.interactofwake.org/services/courtadv.php

God Bless! Wish and pray you the best outcome.

Thank you for ur comment. Before I fled the state my ex poured water in my gas tank..I was able to have my car fixed. I tried calling a few domestic abuse centers for help...all they tell you is to have a safe plan or you can go to a shelter. When you are in a situation like this, no one can stop someone from harming you...not even the police. After the incident w/my car, one day I told him I was going to the store & fled the state never to rtn. When he found out where I was, he came and tried to get me for kidnapping our daughter (no one at the domestic abuse centers informed me I could be charged w/kidnapping my own child or that something like this could happen to me..I NEVER saw this coming or else I would have taken precautionary steps to avoid this mess). Law enforcement informed him he was out of juridiction and would have to rtn to NC the state where she was born to file any thing. He made false accusations against me and hired an attorney to file an "Emergency Ex Parte Order" against me. The same day I was served w/this document, my baby was taken away from me. I did not recieve a visit from Social Services, so I am unsure what you have gone through or know about "Ex Parte Orders."I had to rtn to NC w/in a week for a trial. At the trial because I would not live in the NC for fear of my life, the judge granted us "Joint Custody" but w/him having physical custody.

Because I am not financially able to afford an attorney, I have represented myself in court...playing tapes of him wanting to kill me, his g/f on the stand stating she did fail her drug test while on probation; she has access to picking up our daughter for daycare, however denies picking up our daughter during the time she failed the drug test. I also displayed tons of calls to the police for assistance at the home due to domestic fights/aruguments, even showed the court during a call to the police where the father claims the g/f left drugs in the home..when I questioned my ex on the stand, he says he MISTAKENED the drug for BABY POWDER! I asked him, how he could not know the difference between the two. Wow, do you know the judge did not MODIFY one thing on my custody order! The Justice System sucks big time and very bias. My ex's attorney was/is a criminal attorney and the County child support atttorney. His attorney wrote the judgement denying any modification and the judge signed off on it. I didn't appeal it because I already knew the judge would find favor for my ex's attorney.

I tried calling Interact the other day...and some other domestic abuse centers, however they really only cater to women who are currently in a domestic abuse relationship. Seeing as I am not in current danger, no help for me. But thank you for the suggestions. I will not lose faith and keep searching. I really feel like there are some people or someone out there that can help me but I just haven't found them yet.

Dear Troubled Mom, My heart breaks to hear your story and I know all too well that qualifying for legal aid is much more difficult than people think. One way to approach this is to get everything you know down on paper chronologically and in as much detail as you can. Also gather any court orders or pleadings or anything else that has been submitted to a Judge anywhere regarding custody of your child. Gathering documents will take a chunk off of the time you would have to pay an attorney or paralegal to do the same thing. Once you have all of this together, I would call family law firms and ask if they have a youngish associate or a third year law student working there this summer that could help you with a custody matter for a discounted rate so the newbie could gain experience. Firms have summer clerks this time of year and they are great resources for lower cost legal help.

I'll Keep it short!My abuse ex is taking me to court and ask for me to enforce the visitation order. I told the judge i fear for my life and basically he ignored me and told the dad that he is looking for the parent that want to share the kids. I fear him what can i do.

Single mom4- If you have an existing visitation order and you are not following it you can and will be held in contempt of court. If you are in fear of your life you can use a couple of driffrent programs.

If your ex is no threat to the kids , there is a place downtown, called "Time Together" where you go to that does the exchange for you in a safe enviroment. You and kids go in one room then an escort takes kids to the room where thier Dad is, and you leave while they are being aquantied with thier dad, they have to wait twenty mintues before Dad can leave with kids to give you time to be gone. You have to pay for this service.

Another solution is that alot of parents meet at the police station for the exchange, inside or out with or without an escort. It is up to you.

Also you could meet in a public place like McDonalds, in the jump and play area.

Lastly- do not endanger your life or others, if your ex is unreasonable, uncorroptable, communicating threats, you need to prtect yourself and all others. In NC , communication of a threat is a crime. You need to invest in the necessary equipment , usually found at Radio Shack, a hand held recorder and a phone recorder, and you record every conversation. When you have a recording of a communication of a threat , you go downtown to the magistrates office and you get a warrant sworn out for his arrest. Arrest him every single time, it does not matter if he has an attorney and you don't, as long as he is guilty , and communicating a threat, keep arresting him, you are hitting his wallet. Be prepared you will have to represent yourself if you do not have an attorney, do research on abuse and ask the appropriate questions to show the guilt or doubt on his part.

You can also get a restraining order , remember the paper only tells him to stay away from you, you still need to be wise and not put yourself in an endangering situation, never trust an abusive ex especially when he turns sugary sweet and nice. Usually all Hell is getting ready to break loose.

Here is the Interact Link- If you are a Wake County resident go to the 9th floor at the court house in Wake County, and go to the far right corner and ask for an Interact Worker, they can help you with a multitude of things dealing with your situation. Thier services are free. They also offer counseling which is great!!

Interact- provides attorneys for domestic abuse. Read this article.
http://www.interactofwake.org/services/courtadv.php