These are tough questions, and unfortunately, I don't have a good answer for you. Maybe you can start with your insurance company and see if there's someone they recommend. Call around and get impressions first on how you're treated over the phone. You may want to have a visit alone at first, to make sure this is the person for you.

http://www.cpfs.net/staff/nh.html I think it is a very important question that most people face at some point. A friend of mine, who is a truly reasonable, smart, and thoughtful person is a marriage and family counselor in Chapel Hill. I have never gone to her for professional help, so I can't recommend her therapy. But from what I know about her personally, I think she'd be outstanding. Her offiice may be able to recommend someone nearby where you live, or someone else if she isn't a fit for you.

Best of luck. It is emotionally draining from the other issues in your life to have to deal with this. Hope you find someone great to talk to. If it helps, others have gone through this, and I'm sure an experienced counselor could provide help.

Her website for N. Hawkins:
http://www.cpfs.net/staff/nh.html