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The Division of Chores
My husband and I have segregated duties. There are certain chores only he does and certain chores only I do.
I clean bathrooms and do the girls’ laundry. My husband mows the lawn and does the bills.
If you asked me to turn on a lawnmower, I would have no idea how to do it. I also have no clue where/when/how my husband pays the bils – Online? Mails checks? Who knows? And honestly, I don’t even care.
This may seem a little barbaric for some, but it works in our house. There is of course the concern of what happens if something happens to one of us. I just tend not to think about it.
As far as the rest of the chores, we try to split them up as best as we can. My husband does the dishes more than me. He also is a much better grocery shopper. I love to cook, and dusting is something that is easy to do (or to convince your five-year-old to do).
I think it is best that I don’t know our financial status (I can hear the audible gasp from most). I spend all day doing accounting at my job and don’t want to do it when I come home. My husband has a degree in finance and actually understands more about the economy than most economists. I trust him to make the right decisions about our finances.
My kids are too young to understand the separation of duties in our house. And when they are old enough, I will absolutely convince them they need to help me clean bathrooms over helping their Dad with his chores.
Amy appears Wednesdays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Amy at her blog A Family Story.
Amy Williamson
Amy is a TriangleMom2Mom featured blogger, appearing every Wednesday.
She lives in Holly Springs with her two daughters, a four-year old aspiring High School Musical character and a two-year old who believes every day should start at 5 a.m. Amy and her husband met while attending Virginia Tech and relocated here two years ago from Virginia to escape the traffic and intermittent snow. Amy works in finance and her husband is a real estate agent. Amy enjoys playing bassoon for the Holly Springs Community Band and can often be found in her garage practicing and scaring off the neighborhood cats.
Comments
Division of labor is a touchy thing. Especially when both of you are working. When you are a SAHM, sometimes the spouse's chores are seen as "favors." That is not such a great thing! Interestingly, my husband contributes more now than he did when we were both working full time and the kids were babies!
Ours is more of an unspoken division - if I cleaned the bathroom the last couple of times, it's his turn, and vice versa. When one of us is really busy at work, the other will pick up the slack at home. When we're both busy, a lot gets left undone. We both do a little bit of everything.
The only thing I don't do is mow the lawn or outdoor landscaping. He enjoys it - the gardening part especially is a hobby of his. I'll plant six pansies with my daughter and pick the tomatoes and basil in our small garden, but that's about my limit.
Gloria Steinem did a lot for women, but she never solved equality for household chores. Every woman I know does more around the home than their mate. Fair or not, it's true. Of course, most men really don't care about clean toilets or clean laundry. They think we are running around the home all for no reason.
I relate to this really well. My husband handles all the bills. I know that must horrify some people, but it works for us. I do not cut grass or do any outside work. But my husband does help alot inside. He works from home and has no problem switching a load of laundry over, folding, or loading the dishwasher during the day when he's got a few mins. These little things makes it so easy for me to go to work a few days a week. Our kids are in school all day, but I still feel like with a family of 6 laundry and dishes can be pretty time consuming, but with everyone pitching in it's not too bad.
Okay, I just realized my post made it sound like I don't do a whole lot of anything but my husband does...he just has more flexibility with his schedule, but we're both doing plenty. haha.
ArbonneMom
Now that I am a SAHM, I do everything around the house - including the lawn! When I was working full-time I did 85%(he did the lawn). I fix everything, I clean everything, I cook and shop and take care of the baby. If I get a relief from it, it is when I have had to ask for help and I have reached some sort of boiling point. Not good, I know! He grew up in NYC and wasn't taught how to fix/do anything for himself. And, he is not the kind that would notice if things went dirty, broken or stained so you can't hold out hoping that he'll notice and take over. The other day I left a toilet brush in the toilet (like a spoon in your coffee cup) to remind him to clean the mess he made.. never got done. He'll live out of a laundry basket of folded clothes versus putting them up and the trash and recycler can pile sky high ... nothing. I had to put coolant in my tank after it dripped all out on the car port. I told him about it and he said, Yeah, I noticed." ACH!