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Eight Babies!?
This week, a much-heralded set (bunch? sports team?) of octuplets made their way into this world, all eight of them delivered by Cesarean section within minutes of one another – the equivalent of one baby every 36 seconds.
The team involved in delivering the babies held proud press conferences and exclaimed over how well everything had gone. The babies weighed between 1 and 3 pounds each and were expected to spend at least two months in the hospital.
One baby is a handful. Twins must be nuts, triplets absolute insanity. More than that is hard to fathom.
Yes, babies are a blessing. But eight of them? That’s blessing overload.
Eight is such a big number, it’s comical. Except it’s not.
Who’s going to take care of all those babies? Who’s going to pay for the wipes and the diapers (newborns often leave their mark on up to 10 diapers a day for the first three months; that’s 7,200 diapers in the first 90 days), the clothing and the car seats, not to mention the passenger van required to accommodate those car seats?
Who’s going to feed them? And how?
The mother, who has remained anonymous, has indicated her desire to breastfeed. A noble intent, but how realistic is it?
Yes, a woman’s body is engineered to produce enough milk to satisfy demand, but that doesn’t always work, even under far less stressful conditions. Kudos to mom for wanting to try, but the likelihood of eight tummies being satisfied by two breasts seems far-fetched. Even experts don’t know if it can be done because there’s no precedent, at least in the United States. In 1997, a 27-year-old woman gave birth to octuplets in Houston, but a 10-ounce baby girl died a week later.
Of course, those babies will get fed somehow; I, along with many of my thirty-something generation, got formula and turned out just fine.
A bigger problem, in my mind, is the pandemonium that is parenthood – times eight.
At parentdish.com, Kate Gosselin, the mom to twin and sextuplets whose chaotic life is spotlighted in TLC’s Jon and Kate Plus 8, offered some foreshadowing of what’s to come for the mom of the octuplets. She should "look forward to feelings of overwhelming proportions -- good, bad and ugly."
The octuplets’ mom might want to find out about a national program that focuses on how to cope with what can be hours of inconsolable crying in the initial months of an infant’s life. Called “The Period of Purple Crying,” it’s an educational campaign being rolled out this month in North Carolina hospitals and eventually nationwide to give parents of newborns the straight scoop on babies and crying and what to do when you feel like hurling said baby – or yourself – out the window at 3 a.m.
Cardinal rule: Don’t.
(Its main point: Realize that newborns cry – they’re supposed to – and figure out a strategy to deal with it. If they’re fed and clean and rested and you can’t stand the wailing any longer, put them in a safe place and walk away. It’s better than doing something you’ll regret.)
The high-pitched mewing of an infant is unlike any other sound; it’s like nails on a chalkboard – a really loud, squeaky one. The noise is so disturbing because it’s intended to be an S.O.S. call for help, on the double – Mom, hold me. Dad, change me. Someone, feed me, play with me, notice me.
It’s bound to be hard to get noticed when you’re one of eight. Especially when you don’t have any particular identity. Last we heard, the tots had no names. As they were plucked from the womb, they were dubbed Baby A, B, C, D, E, F, G and…surprise!...Baby H.
Try to imagine comforting a baby who has no name. “It’s okay, Baby F. Mommy loves you, Baby F.”
Sorry for the snark. But I’m taken aback that there’s so little oversight of the fertility industry in this country that eight babies can issue forth from one woman at one time.
I empathize with the desperation to have a baby. But it does seem like it would be a good idea to set up some guidelines for how to go about doing that.
Multiples, because they are almost certain to be born early, are more likely to suffer complications or death. For mega-multiples, the odds of something going wrong are even greater. In the process, they cost insurance companies thousands of dollars.
But that is far from my biggest concern.
What bothers me most is how these babies will get what all babies need most – love and attention. I don’t know who their mother is – none of us do, as she’s (wisely) chosen anonymity – but I don’t know how she will remember each baby’s name once she decides to de-initialize them, much less find time to bond with each baby as an individual.
As they grow up, it will become even harder. As a mother of a toddler, a preschooler and a kindergartener, I can attest to how frustrating it can be to carve out alone time for each child. I can’t imagine how this mother will manage to find the time to let each baby know he or she is loved and appreciated and unique.
All I can wish her is luck – and the good fortune to get picked up as a television syndicate.
Bonnie appears Saturdays on TriangleMom2Mom.
Bonnie Rochman
Bonnie is a TriangleMom2Mom featured blogger, appearing every Monday.
She lives in Raleigh and has written for The News & Observer since 1998. She has covered political unrest in the Middle East and chronicled the experiences of entrepreneurs in Vietnam, but that was long before her new bosses -- there are three of them, one more demanding than the next -- presenting her with her most challenging assignment to date: juggling the needs and perceived wants of boy/girl preschoolers and their baby sister.
Bonnie also writes kids music reviews for TriangleMom2Mom.
Comments
Apparently she already had six: http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-octuplets30-2009jan30,0,5460225.story
I don't know the details, but one suspects fertility intervention. If this was acheived by IVF, who would implant 8 embryos? It's dangerous to all involved.
Apparently this did involve IVF. I wonder though if any of the embryos may have divided into twins or triplets. I can't imagine any fertility specialist would implant 8 embryos at one time.
Also, apparently her other six kids are under the age of 8. Can't even begin to imagine 14 kids under the age of 8 under 1 roof.
I'm trying to figure out, if she already had 6 kids, where the desperation came from to go through IVF.........
I know. With so many, one has to wonder about the motivation of the parents. I fear that somehow it's meeting a need of one of the parents.
The N&O has an article this morning about the ethics of implanting eight embryos in a woman who already had six children. In the article, the babies' grandmother is quoted as saying that her daughter did have embryos implanted and it was a surprise that they all "took." I think the IVF process necessitates the implantation of multiple embryos because of the large percentage of implanted embryos that do not survive.
Unlike Bonnie, who is much nicer and more empathetic than I am, I am not as concerned about the Mom and the rest of the family as I am on the potential drain on our economy and medical system. What is the cost of the months in the hospital for extremely low birth weight babies? Who is paying for it? What about the potential for longer term medical issues for these children? How will they get the help they need? Who will pay for it?
Since I share the cynicism of the commenter who mentioned a potential TV show, I must object if people are using the breakthroughs in technology that provide miracles to parents with fertility problems in order to get in the limelight or get a TV movie deal!
I think I just decided that I'm going to have to blog about this....thanks for the inspiration, Bonnie.
This event brings up so many ethical issues. Apparently the mother had 8 fertilized embryos which she did not want destroyed and therefore chose implantation. Do you object to the number implanted at one time? Would it have been "OK" if four embryos were implanted now and then four later? What would you do in a similar situation with the embryos? There was a fascinating study from Duke which revealed that most couples would rather have the embryos used in stem cell research or destroyed rather than be donated to another infertile couple.(http://www.newsobserver.com/news/health_science/story/1319977.html.) If the new trials on paralyzed patients being injected with embryonic stem cells prove successful, will the community against embryonic stem cell research "back down" and allow funding for the use of these embryos? There are some very interesting questions.
If the mom felt morally obligated to use all the fertilized eggs then fewer should have been fertilized. the clinic should have done more deligent counseling before any embryos were created.
I agree, camsgram. The clinic did not operate responsibly, IMO. And they are ridiculously ill-informed, if they didn't really think that 8 would take.
Although limiting the number of fertilized eggs during the IVF process may be desirable, this is not so easy. Repeated ovarian stimulation as well as retrieval and transfer attempts are both costly and physically demanding. Although the technology is improving, it is also not ideal and apparently still experimental, to cryopreserve unfertilized eggs and use them later. http://www.asrm.org/Media/Press/AM07urgecautioneggfreezing.html . Also, according to a CNN article, embryos can split 4-5% of the time which may have occurred in the situation. If that were the case, then it does decrease the culpability of the clinic. That would also have left the mother with the difficult choice of selective reduction. http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/01/30/embryos.ethics/index.html?imw=Y&iref=mpstoryemail We may never know the whole story but I do think that it is important for everyone, particularly those considering IVF, to understand the ethical decisions which they may confront later.
I have so many opinions about this I don't even know where to start. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years now and have been together for almost 6. We both have a career and are able to pay our own bills. We do not live with our parents and we are able to support ourselves and do not feel that it is anyone's job other than ourselves to do just that. He and I have just now after 3 years of trying to conceive a child decided on adoption which we feel was the option that we were meant to consider all along. I understand that people want children and when they are unable to have those children that they should research and look into the available options. What I do not understand is a fertility doctor anywhere that would even consider giving a woman with 6 children already the option of IVF or further more that would possible even agree to implant the number of embryos that were implanted. Our physician would only implant a maximum of 3 which in my opinion is the smart thing to do. The story of this woman was miraculous when it first began because she had 8 surviving babies. As the story has progressed we now see that her parents are living with her due to them having filed for bankruptcy over an obviously bad decision. This mother of 14 has no job and apparently had not had a job for some time now. MY NEXT QUESTION IS WHO FUNDED ALL OF THESE FERTILITY TREATMENTS. IVF is currently around 15,000 and possibly more. My husband and I both work and we still have to work extra at times and save up what we can and then will have to either get a loan or dip into our retirement funds and yet this woman can have that many IVF cycles with no consistent financial resource coming in. As the story continues to unfold we now see where she has hired a publicist to help her manage her upcoming potential gain. This is also the same woman who feels that she deserves a television career telling other people how to be a good parent when she obviously cares more for having children than trying to raise and provide for the ones that she has. My question at this point is for her. HOW MUCH IS TO MUCH. She now has 14. Does she now think that she can continue to have children for as long as she wants to. I mean if companies decide to pay her for her story what is to say that she won't fund more IVF cycles to have more children. You see many stories of people killing and abusing their children. I would think that in some ways that she is not potentially utilizing the same idea. If you know that there is a possibility to have that many children would you now obviously realize that all of those children might not make it and basically it was because of a stupid decision on your part just because you wanted to have children. This woman's parents at this point have to stop and think WHAT WENT WRONG. Why would one person continuously feel the need to have more and more children. It is a sad fact that one woman would care more for fame and fortune then she does for the welfare and benefit of her children. I would think that the fact that you have 6 children at homes ages 2-7 that you would not want to do anything to take away from them. How is one person going to raise 14 children with no job and living with their parents. I guess she feels that the book deals and the television appearances will help fund her little babymaking effort. DR. PHIL, PLEASE INVITE THIS WOMAN ONTO YOUR SHOW AND EITHER PAY TO HAVE HER STERILIZED OR GET HER SOME COUNSELING FOR THINKING THAT SHE POSSIBLY NEEDED THAT MANY CHILDREN TO BEGIN WITH. I also think that the fertility doctor who implanted all of those embryos after knowing that this woman already have 6 children at home should be brought up for review by the medical board for gross negligence.
Did anyone else see this article?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29009410
It delineates some of the ethical issues.
As a side note, this article mentions that the mother has a publicist now.