Congratulations on having such a wonderful relationship with your family, and on appreciating that. I'm not at your stage yet-- but I have a freshman in high school, and I can see it coming.

I guess the only thing I can say is that you're not alone, and that while you understand that you must allow your children to grow-- don't forget that this is your opportunity to grow as well. I'm sure there are interests that you may have not pursued because you were so busy with your teens. Now is your chance to delve into them. You don't have to have kids at a high school to stay involved with the school. Your experience could be just what a PTSA or booster club needs. Or maybe you want to take the chance to do something entirely different.

If you look at this transition as a chance for you and your kids to grow, it becomes less of a loss.

Make sure you give me this advice in three years!

Every age with my boys has been wonderful, but it hit me just last night that at this age (high school sophomore and college freshman), it's like having a houseful of friends (especially when THEIR friends are added into the mix)!

Our experience with the one in college is to have a gradual transition. Luckily he's only about 45 minutes away, so he can easily stay at school or get back here if something is going on that he wants to be a part of. I expect with each year, he'll start to spend more time there than here, and with each year, that will be easier for us. I remember being dreadfully homesick my first year of college. But with easy communication these days (cell phones, email, facebook), neither of us has to suffer the separation.

I do not look forward to that time(well, ok, maybe a little), but you can jump into this new time of your life with the great feeling that you appreciated every bit of your children's childhood! And how wonderful that must feel to your sons, having parents that cherish them so much!

It gets easier.       My two teens have moved out. My nest is empty. Sending kids out into the world, having their rooms at home sitting empty was, is, really hard. But wonderful, too! I don't have any magical advice. But for me, it gets easier. As much as I LOVE to see them, and as much as I felt heartbroken when they left, having them on their own (more or less on their own) has become the most wonderful feeling EVER. I guess it helps to mourn a bit...then celebrate. (1) Celebrate every accomplishment they make on their own that has nothing to do with you. Celebrate them brushing their teeth on their own, traveling on their own, making a new friend on their own. Whatever it is that is GREAT for them, and you were not part of that Great event. ANd (2) Celebrate the cool things you can do now that you don't have to monitor their lives. Go on a cool trip or take a new class, or do something that you can't do with them. Try to make them proud and happy of what they do without you too, by talking about how great it is. Maybe that will help some. Family times can still be great too, even if being apart is great. I love my kids so much that I thought that I would die when they left home. Life without them I thought could never compare to life with them. Now I think I would die if I ever had to have them live with me again. Seriously. I don't know how or when that happened.

I will not be there for quite some time, but I just wanted to say that you are an inspiration! The closeness you have with your children is one I hope to have as well. I am sure you raised them well, and they will have wonderful lives!

Becka+Chris= Nick 8 Michele 5 Wyatt 18 months
www.learnandgrowtogether.com