Are you like me? As soon as my kids enter the car, before I even say hello, I pass them the hand sanitizer.

"Don't put your hands near your mouth!" I screech when I glance in my rearview mirror and notice them scratching their cheeks.

Swine flu -- excuse me, H1N1 -- is all around us. And although I'm most likely jinxing myself by writing this blog, so far, we have been spared. But I don't get the feeling that it's my diligence or nagging.  It’s just been luck.

This is one of the most frustrating things about parenting.  The fact that no matter how much we try, we cannot completely protect our children.  We can research to find out all there is to know about the flu.  We can keep an eagle eye on our kids, alert to the smallest change— are they irritable because it’s late and they’re tired, or is this the beginning of the illness?  We can stock up on Tylenol and ibuprofen and keep the pediatrician’s number on speed dial.  We can give them swine flu shots (when they come out), but that’s not promised to be 100% effective.

No matter what we do, we can’t keep those nasty germs from finding their way to our kids.

Whether it’s the flu, crossing a busy street, dodgy friends or a too-old boyfriend, we parents always try to protect our child from the dangers they face in life.  When mine were tiny and just starting to toddle, I’d walk one and a half steps behind them, arms surrounding them in a semi-circle, trying to give them an opportunity to ambulate on their own, while making sure they didn’t fall.

As they grew, Bryan and I talked to them about drugs, alcohol, sex, gangs, and all of their subsets, from cyber bullying to sexting and friendships with benefits. We alerted them to new dangers, from huffing to stranger safety.  We stressed the importance of grades, self-respect, and integrity—but at the same time realized that our warnings couldn’t provide a bulletproof wall of protection.  

Because sometimes, no matter what you do, your kid gets the flu.

On the flipside, sometimes they don’t.

Just like in parenting, sometimes in spite of our worst mistakes as parents, our kids somehow weather the storm and turn out okay.  There have been times when I have gotten quite frustrated with my little angels, and have spoken to them in a way that would not garner me the Mother of the Year (or even of the Minute) Award.  Like when one forgets one’s bat bag two minutes after I have reminded said child to put it in the car.  And when we don’t discover the bat bag missing until we are at our destination.

But despite my sudden loss of temper, my lack of perspective of how small a problem it really was, my child forgave me.  (Okay, the child cried first at my outburst, and I felt extremely guilty for overreacting, but then was forgiven.)

I have kids who are generally really good kids.  They (often) like to be with each other.  They’ll help each other with homework.  They are respectful (at least to my face—which with teenagers is about all I can ask); they like to learn (despite not liking to do homework.)  Yes, I can brag about them.  Because even though I did the best I could to parent them, and though some of it is their own individual personalities and motivation, a lot of it is timing, circumstance and fortune. In other words: luck.

I will continue my sanitizer vigilance.  I will continue to help my children learn to be good people.  Yes, I will still nag them about their homework.  I’ll get them all the immunizations and vaccinations I can. I want to tilt the odds in my favor as much as I can.  And even though so much is out of my control, if luck wants to shine down on our lives, I certainly want to make sure it feels we have done our part.

Pamela appears Tuesdays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Pamela on her blog Crazy is My Life.