Driving down a busy road after school, I’m every mom, in my multi-seat, multi-row vehicle, lugging children from point A to point B and then onto point C, D and maybe E.  

Sure, we may all look different.  Our vehicles are different makes and models. Some of us come from home.  Some of us come from work. But I would bet that the conversations we are having with our children, our husbands and our friends share many common themes.  The names may change, but the topics remain the same.

I would also bet that as we take turns this Thanksgiving, going around our respective tables, sharing what we are most thankful for, we would give many of the same answers.  Our family.  Our friends.  Our health.  

And so, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I will share with you my very own Top 10 list, made up of the most important lessons I have learned over the past 12 years spent as a wife, mother and friend.

1. When it comes to disciplining my kids, less is more. Although my urge is to explain and discuss, two minds under the age of 10 don’t need all the talking.  Does the phrase, “Because I said so” ring a bell?   I finally get it.

2. All kids have a “thing."  It could be a health issue. A learning issue.  A behavior issue.  Whatever it is, you get what you get. It’s OK to be sad or frustrated once in a while.  But ultimately, you need to accept it.  Deal with it.  Once you do, you’ll see more clearly.  And be free to enjoy your child for who he is.

3. We need to be our children’s advocate.  If you think something is wrong, you need to speak up.  You need to investigate all your options.  No one else will do it better than you.

4. When it comes to cars, the older the better.  For my old, reliable, home on wheels invites homework done with pen in the backseat, popcorn as a snack and muddy shoes after a soccer game.  And if I have already cracked the mirror frame, ripped the rear spoiler off and dented a fender, the pressure’s off in parking lots.  100,000 more miles, please!

5. Once you get to a certain age, it is absolutely quality over quantity.  This is especially true for clothes, shoes and girlfriends.  

6. Keeping up with the Jones is overrated and exhausting. You never catch up.  It’s when you finally realize you don’t want to that you have hit the emotional jackpot.

7. Marriage is peaks and valleys.  When you’re resting on a peak, it’s easy to take it for granted.  And when you are in a valley, it takes patience and effort to make the long, hard climb out.  If you can do it, your marriage will be stronger.

8. Saying your sorry is the hardest when you need to say it the most.

9. The cure for a bad day is to watch your children sleep.  I promise you, if you’ve ever walked in on your sleeping child, to find him sideways, all sprawled out with covers every where but on him, you’ll feel like you are the luckiest person in the world.

10. The golden rule of parenting is to expect the unexpected.  Plans, whether they are dinner plans, afternoon plans, vacation plans or life plans, rarely go off without a glitch. It’s more likely that your days will be busy with ups, downs, noise, mess, and emotion.  But one thing is for sure.  One day our homes will be quiet.  So give thanks for today. Everyday.

Illyse appears Thursdays on TriangleMom2Mom.