I got an e-mail last week from the state Office of Environmental Education.

They thought they were doing me a favor by introducing me to their new Eco-Smart Parent Guide, a cheerily written pamphlet designed to promote healthier choices when it comes to your children.

What they didn’t know is that I’m already a basket case attempting to safeguard my kids from, well, the world in general.

This is no expose about how Nesquik is really not fortified with all the vitamins and minerals your child needs in a day.

It’s far more insidious.

We’re talking hazardous chemicals in baby bottles, cancer-causing compounds in sunscreens, brain-atrophying mercury in little fishies swimming in picturesque lakes in county parks.

When I was pregnant, I read about a study that revealed a toxic brew of chemicals, including flame retardants, in breast milk. Yum.

Breast is best, holds a popular slogan, but is that as true when the milk is sullied?

Formula-feeders are no better off with the recent bad press about BPA, or bisphenol-A, a potentially harmful compound that renders plastic baby bottles shatter-proof.

When I think about all the things we’re supposed to avoid, my pulse races like a zippy European speedster that would never have room for my three car seats.

To wit:

*The backyard barbecue grill is now suspect. Singe that hot dog (oops -- I just admitted I feed my kids hot dogs once in a while) and the resultant charred meat could cause cancer. Or something along those lines.

*Microwaving food in plastic containers may be hazardous to your health. The high heat could cause chemicals from the plastic to leach into the food. That high heat got me thinking again about the safety of washing plastics in the dishwasher. I don’t do it because, well, my mom didn’t do it.

For five years now, I’ve fastidiously deconstructed the moving parts of the 2,348 sippy cups in my children’s extensive collection, washing each by hand. I yearn for the dishwasher’s top rack. Mother, may I? I called the non-profit Environmental Working Group for permission. I’m waiting to hear back.

*Fruits and vegetables are good for you, but only if they’re organic. A few weeks ago, I took the kids strawberry-picking. The farmer assured me the fields hadn’t been sprayed in a month. Still, I would have liked to wash our cache before the kids popped the fruit into their mouths.

Dilemma: Do I forbid them the singular pleasure of eating berries straight from the vine, even if they’re unwashed? I couldn’t enforce that even if I wanted to.

Recently, even my father-in-law got in on the action, sending me a blurb from The Wall Street Journal about which fruits and veggies have the greatest pesticide residue – grapes, for example -- after he observed me feeding his grandchildren conventionally grown raisins. I got the message -- only organic Trader Joe’s raisins in the pantry whenever he comes to visit in the future.

*Mercury taints a long list of fish but serves as a preservative, thimerosal, in the flu vaccine. The state makes available mercury-free vaccines for children 5 and under, but by the time my baby was ready for vaccination at 6 months, the mercury-free supply had run out. My pediatrician assured me the small amount of mercury in his practice’s remaining flu shots was insignificant, but I wasn’t swayed.

A few well-placed e-mails and phone calls to the right person at the vaccine manufacturer, and baby Orli had her thimerosal-free injection. (Thank you, Sanofi-Pasteur! They even FedExed it.)

Bottom line: If it’s bad for you to eat mercury-laced fish, how is it good for you to mainline it?

But enough doom and gloom. Let’s get back to the Eco-Smart Parent Guide.

Snarkiness aside, it’s a really useful tool for those of us trying to make smart, environmentally- and health-conscious decisions for our kids.

Reading the pamphlet, I even learned of a potential hazard I’d never considered: The fabric and foam in car seats. Turns out they can off-gas all sorts of not-so-savory concoctions while Junior sits securely buckled within.

To their credit, the well-intentioned writers of the Eco-Parent Guide issued a disclaimer to moms and dads reading their literature: “Don’t get overwhelmed or feel guilty.”

Don’t get overwhelmed? Who are they kidding?

This booklet makes me anxious. It’s information overload that taps into the neurotic gene that lies not so latent within me.

It’s easy to worry about everything these days.

We’re doing more than our parents’ generation, maybe a lot more than most other parents in our generation, but still nowhere near as much as that mom who garbs her children in those overpriced, organic cotton ensembles, the ones woven from a sustainably harvested crop and certified as child labor-free, for sale at Whole Foods.

How much are they, anyway?

Bonnie appears every Monday on TriangleMom2Mom.