My daughter Amelia is almost 3. And I'm realizing that I have to get started on all my parenting ideals. I can no longer use the excuse, "Oh, she's too young to worry about that yet." She is a full-fledged kid these days, not a baby, and I'm feeling the pressure to do things that once seemed so far in the future--like letting her help in the kitchen.

I always vowed that she wouldn't be like my older stepsons, who came home from school every day and said, "What's for dinner?" as if they believed dinner was something that parents magically conjured up from thin air. The idea that they had any part in getting that dinner on the table was totally foreign to them. That was probably because, the times they tried to do anything in the kitchen, my husband would swoop in and do it for them. He just couldn't deal with the mess and the risks of kids in the kitchen.

I was going to be different, though. I was going to be the mom who smiled calmly as the kids did whatever they could, however imperfectly. But these days, I have 15 or 20 minutes to get dinner together after work, and I am at a loss for what a 3-year-old can do to help me, except get out of my way. We're talking knives and hot stoves here. So, do any of you have practical suggestions for things that even young children can do to help in the kitchen and feel like they have some investment in the meal that's put before them?

I'd also welcome suggestions for ways they can help with cleanup. I wanted to have her start clearing her own plate, but my husband pointed out that she's likely to leave a trail of spilled food between the table and the sink. And the counter is too high for her to reach, so where is she going to put the dish anyway? This parenting thing is so complicated.

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