What is the right age for letting the kids stay home alone? My friend leaves her 10-year-old at home while she picks up her younger son from soccer practice, but that just seems too young to me.
I think it's a fine line. And it is dependent on the kid, your neighborhood, etc. I would never leave a child who is at all hesitant about it at home. However, I live in a neighborhood where we are all very close-knit and look out for one another. So if I had a 10 year old who said, "Come on Mom...I just want to stay here and play X-box." I would probably call a neighbor, let her know I was leaving him, bring the home phone (an archaic item, I know), place it next to him, make sure he knows the neighbor's number and threaten removal of TV, computer, cell phone (yup, some 10 year olds have cell phones) privileges if anything goes awry.
My husband was not left alone, just unattended, at age 5 and played with matches in a closet and burned the house down. That's the other side of the fine line. Go with your gut!
Along those same lines, I have had babysitters who started at age 12. Too young, you might say? But in my experience, they play with the kids instead of yacking on the phone, their moms are usually committed to being "on call" while they are sitting and unfortunately, once they reach about 15, they don't want to babysit anymore! So you have a short window of opportunity for teenage sitters.
My children were 13, 11, and 9 when we began leaving them home without me. On the first night we left them home, my husband and I went out for a peaceful, over priced steak dinner. After placing our order we realized that his cell phone was completely dead. We flagged down the waiter, requested our steaks in a to-go box and rushed straight home. Arriving home we found the three of them snuggled together on the couch with their dogs watching a movie. As we walked in my son looked up at us holding the take out bundles and said, "We knew you'd never make it through dinner. You're just not ready yet. Next time it'll be easier, I promise."
First night we left the 2boys alone while we went to a neighborhood Christmas party, LITERALLY 2 minutes away. Just as we were pulling out of the driveway, the older one ran out to the car and said the phone had rung but no one was there. All they could hear was music. It was a while before we realized I had unknowingly hit the speed-dial on my cell phone, called my own house, and what they were hearing was the car radio!
I have a hard time with my fifteen year old staying home alone, and that does not happen very often. She is completely trust-worthy, I just feel guilty about her staying home alone, even though it is always her choice, she doesn't usually like to go to her little brother and sisters practices and such. I guess I have to let go a little. I wish there was a guide book to tell you exactly when was a good time. Oh, and I really hate when relatives call when she is home alone, that makes me feel really guilty....go figure!?
I agree that it depends on your child's personality and degree of responsibility, how far and how long you'll be gone. Some states have laws governing that, but I don't think NC is one of them, so you're left to use your judgment, which seems to say that for you, 10 is too young.
It's not so much the normal stuff that you have to worry about, but the unusual. What would your child do if someone knocked on the door?Would they answer the door? Freak out? What if your car battery died and you were gone longer than you expected? What if the power went out? Would your child be (emotionally) okay until you get home? The answers to these will help you determine if you and your child are ready for this step.
At any age, for any length of time, make sure your child has access to an adult with a car. And access to a phone. Necessary for emergencies.
Even if a baby sitter is there---like say a woman who doesn't speak English very well, or a teen too young to drive. THe access to a car, and English speaker on a phone call is a must.
The age-vs-maturity question is a judgement call. THere are 40 yr. olds I wouldn't want home alone with my kids.
Your friend could likely be prosecuted in court for child neglect. Could be used as Social services ammo, or in divorce suit, for instance. Legalities aside, her judgement would be in question even if under the circumstances it would probably be fine. No doubt this is more common than we think. Latch-key kids still use the key.
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Comments
I think it's a fine line. And it is dependent on the kid, your neighborhood, etc. I would never leave a child who is at all hesitant about it at home. However, I live in a neighborhood where we are all very close-knit and look out for one another. So if I had a 10 year old who said, "Come on Mom...I just want to stay here and play X-box." I would probably call a neighbor, let her know I was leaving him, bring the home phone (an archaic item, I know), place it next to him, make sure he knows the neighbor's number and threaten removal of TV, computer, cell phone (yup, some 10 year olds have cell phones) privileges if anything goes awry.
My husband was not left alone, just unattended, at age 5 and played with matches in a closet and burned the house down. That's the other side of the fine line. Go with your gut!
Along those same lines, I have had babysitters who started at age 12. Too young, you might say? But in my experience, they play with the kids instead of yacking on the phone, their moms are usually committed to being "on call" while they are sitting and unfortunately, once they reach about 15, they don't want to babysit anymore! So you have a short window of opportunity for teenage sitters.
My children were 13, 11, and 9 when we began leaving them home without me. On the first night we left them home, my husband and I went out for a peaceful, over priced steak dinner. After placing our order we realized that his cell phone was completely dead. We flagged down the waiter, requested our steaks in a to-go box and rushed straight home. Arriving home we found the three of them snuggled together on the couch with their dogs watching a movie. As we walked in my son looked up at us holding the take out bundles and said, "We knew you'd never make it through dinner. You're just not ready yet. Next time it'll be easier, I promise."
First night we left the 2boys alone while we went to a neighborhood Christmas party, LITERALLY 2 minutes away. Just as we were pulling out of the driveway, the older one ran out to the car and said the phone had rung but no one was there. All they could hear was music. It was a while before we realized I had unknowingly hit the speed-dial on my cell phone, called my own house, and what they were hearing was the car radio!
I have a hard time with my fifteen year old staying home alone, and that does not happen very often. She is completely trust-worthy, I just feel guilty about her staying home alone, even though it is always her choice, she doesn't usually like to go to her little brother and sisters practices and such. I guess I have to let go a little. I wish there was a guide book to tell you exactly when was a good time. Oh, and I really hate when relatives call when she is home alone, that makes me feel really guilty....go figure!?
I agree that it depends on your child's personality and degree of responsibility, how far and how long you'll be gone. Some states have laws governing that, but I don't think NC is one of them, so you're left to use your judgment, which seems to say that for you, 10 is too young.
It's not so much the normal stuff that you have to worry about, but the unusual. What would your child do if someone knocked on the door?Would they answer the door? Freak out? What if your car battery died and you were gone longer than you expected? What if the power went out? Would your child be (emotionally) okay until you get home? The answers to these will help you determine if you and your child are ready for this step.
At any age, for any length of time, make sure your child has access to an adult with a car. And access to a phone. Necessary for emergencies.
Even if a baby sitter is there---like say a woman who doesn't speak English very well, or a teen too young to drive. THe access to a car, and English speaker on a phone call is a must.
The age-vs-maturity question is a judgement call. THere are 40 yr. olds I wouldn't want home alone with my kids.
Your friend could likely be prosecuted in court for child neglect. Could be used as Social services ammo, or in divorce suit, for instance. Legalities aside, her judgement would be in question even if under the circumstances it would probably be fine. No doubt this is more common than we think. Latch-key kids still use the key.