Mine has required training. He somewhat knows how to clean, if I give him a specific list of things to clean. And I have to elaborate and inform him that "Clean the kitchen" does not mean "Do the dishes." It also means "clean the counter tops, sweep the floor, and take out the trash." And I have had to explain the difference between dish towels and cleaning towels. This concept was totally new to my husband. He did not understand why I failed to appreciate his use of bleach on the countertops with one of my nice "leave on the counter" dish towels.

I have discovered the way to get through to my husband though. He's big on appearances. So I just have to invite people over and make my husband aware of what rooms these people will see. He's usually pretty helpful then.

Stacie - Mom to two boys

I'll just brag on my husband a little bit who cooks, cleans and does laundry without being asked all the time. In fact, he's more bothered by dirt than I am. And he's a fabulous cook. Plus he does all the work outside the house too. In the end, I think it's all pretty evenly split considering that I do more of the day-to-day child rearing than he does - just because my work is more flexible. We often split other chores - I start laundry, he folds, puts away; he cooks, I do the dishes. He cleans the bathroom, I clean the kitchen, etc. He's awesome.

When I worked outside the home my husband and I split all domestic work pretty evenly. He cooks and cleans and doesn't mind laundry. Plus, he stayed home a few days a week with our son until our son was 18 months. I've certainly taken on a bigger load of cooking and cleaning since I stopped working, but I don't mind because it's easy to fold a load of laundry or clean a bathroom at nap time.

I think that kind of housekeeping skill is a learned thing, and maybe girls are trained from a younger age to notice such things.

DH and were both raised by slobs, and we both kind of are, too (though I am a model of sanitation and cleanliness compared to my mom). We've both worked hard to notice things like laundry baskets full of clean clothes or dust on the baseboards. While our division of labor tends to be nauseatingly traditional, I think we have a pretty even split. DH does a lot around the house, and is no stranger to diapers (he jokingly reminds me that our DD was two days old before I changed diaper).

There are a few things that DH does (or doesn't do) that drive me nuts, but I'm pretty sure he could say the exact same thing about me.

My DH is awesome with everything around the house. He cooks. Every meal. I don't cook a thing. Then he cleans up when we're done eating. He changes diapers, he folds more clothes than I do, he bathes the kids, he runs the dishwasher, he runs errands, he shops, he mows the lawn. I could go on. We both work full-time and we work opposite schedules, so we both have to be able to look around and figure out what needs to be done. We're both basically single parents living under the same roof since we're rarely home at the same time. The benefits are that our kids are not in day care and one of us is always around for them. We have very little time to spend together as a family, so we have to make it count. We can't waste it by arguing over who's going to clean the toilets.

I think that if the coin were flipped and it was my husband wondering things about me..... he would be wondering, "Why can't she just learn to park the car straight in the garage? How many times is she going to back into things with the van and dent it? Why can't she remember to post the receipts on the budget slip? Why doesn't she even THINK that the car needs an oil change? Why can't she drive the lawn mower in a straight line? ( I only mow when he's out of town and I can never seem to do it as well as he can) How long will I have to wait until my wife does these things???"

But, you see, he doesn't say these things to me b/c he's generally not a man who complains about my faults. He just accepts them and picks up the slack for me where I fail.

I, in turn pick up the slack for him for the things that he doesn't see, like socks on the floor. If we ladies were all completely honest with ourselves, we might recognize that when we treat our men right and love them with all of their faults and recognize their good points, they will slay dragons for us until the cows come home.

It's like Dr. Laura says....men have non complicated needs. They need our love, our affection and devotion without our nagging. Try showering love on your hubby, build him up and watch your relationship change for the better.

We have a lot of influence over our husbands. Either for good or for bad. Use your wifehood for good and build your husband up rather than cutting him down. Your family will only benefit from it.

Cady

www.cadydidrooms.com

I was just wondering this today as my hubby left the house complaining that there was nothing for him to do and he was bored! Ummm, how about that huge pile of laundry or the floor that needs vaccumed or the clothes that need hung up? He has his good qualities, but housework is just not one of them! He can scrub the bathtub well though :)

A BIG AMEN TO THAT!!!!!!    Cady,  I agree totally!!!!

I try to put myself  in the other persons shoes as well

I LOVE  the "slay dragons until the cows come home" part!!!!

I Also believe people can't read our minds and that we  ARE coming from different places and if we need something just ask.

Other people have their own agenda and communication is needed to merge ideas of what needs to be accomplished.

For example the other mom said it was important to her husband as to what the house will look like and where people will go in their house when they visit, so her husband tries to clean up for that such event.

If it is important to them-they will do it.

I used to believe we "trained" our husbands and called it by that word(1st m), but now that I am older(2nd m) , I realize it really is that we" TEACH" people how to treat us and what we require.

 In a way it is just semantics I suppose ,but there is an air of difference to the idea.

Also definitely, nagging is out-asking once is sufficient-

we all know, they heard us.......

(I don't like if someone nags me)

treat people as you would have them treat you

I just say "Could you do "   " for me ? Thankyou, I appreciate your help. "

I do try to designate chores for my children though, consistency is the key

 (I used to be a supervisor in the "real" world- so now I guess I have promoted myself to management) haha

I agree LOVE LOVE LOVE them and then LOVE them some more, your family is a gift- spend time with them, laugh with  and treat them well.

Believe me the laundry will be there when you get back and it will wait for you.