As you may know, our fearless leader and editor of Mom2Mom, Sarah Lindenfeld, is gloriously pregnant with her second baby.  She’s passing through the heat of August right now, thinking how much better it would be to live in Alaska instead of in Raleigh.

Ahh.  The second child.  With the first, you often wonder who exactly said it was OK for you to roll out of the hospital with a baby?  Shouldn’t you need to pass a test or fill out a license before you were allowed to go home with such a wee little thing?

With the second, you’re more likely to be thinking of how you’ve missed your first born, and if the two children will bond and, naturally, if you’ll EVER get to sleep again.

Some of the bloggers thought it would be fun to put together a column of expert advice to a second time mom from all of us. Here’s what we have so far:

Welcome to Man-to-Man Defense (otherwise known as Advice for a Mother of Two)

To Sarah (from Pamela):

When you have your first child, you pour your heart and soul into her.  When you have your second, you wonder how you’ll ever love that one as much as you love the first.  Miraculously, mysteriously, it happens.  It may happen all at once, or take a few days or weeks, but before you know it, you’re wrapped around two incredibly tiny, perfect little fingers.

To Sarah (from Leigh):

I guess, for me, the best thing I've done is to leave alone what works (no matter what anyone thinks about it) and try to change what doesn't work...no matter what anyone thinks about it!

To Sarah (from Jennifer):

When I was pregnant with my second child, a friend told me that the hardest part about having more than one kid was trying to decide whose need you were going to take care of first. †She told me that the urge is to take care of the loudest and most pressing need, but that oftentimes that isn’t the best way to go. For example, if your newborn is inconsolable and your toddler needs a glass of water and you get the drink for your toddler then you can focus on the baby. Life with two kids is a constant triage of needs!

For Sarah (from Illyse)

When you go from one to two, you are first awestruck by the fact that your body could actually produce something so perfect a second time. You are then amazed by how quickly your family adjusts to your new little bundle. You can’t even go back in time and remember what life was like the day before he (or maybe she!) was born.† It was as if that new baby was always meant to be right where he is. Of course, you are also impressed with your own ability to multi-task at a whole new level.

But over the years, what will impact you the most are these random moments. Moments where you are sitting around the dinner table. Driving to school. Or tucking them in. Moments where your children may be sitting side by side, but yet are so clearly defined against each other. Moments that will test your patience and maturity as you strive not to compare them to each other. Moment that remind you of how different they are from each other.

But most of all, you will look quietly at your children, and notice how they make the same face with their eyes. How they have a similar walk from a distance. How they are so obviously related. And you will be so thankful that they have each other.

To Sarah (from Laura)

Don't listen too closely to advice, because at the end of the day, the one hunting around for Band-Aids or running to Walgreen’s at 1 a.m. for a humidifier filter is going to be you. So you might as well do what you feel is best and not worry that the lady down the street (or your MIL or even your own mom) will think you're not being a good parent. Just the fact you're worrying about being a good parent means you probably are one already. =) Also, with two, at some point you'll find yourself being screamed at in stereo. I find it's best during these moments to either sit down and wait until they're done, or give one of them food so at least someone is quiet. Luckily, you have two hands, one hand per kid, which works out well. Good luck!

And one more final word to Sarah and to all of us mothers out here.  We’re all at this site, reading and writing about moms and parenting because we all want to do the most absolutely perfect parenting job that has ever been done in the history of civilization.  Good thing we’ve got reasonable expectations.

There will be terrific days when we think we’ve got this mothering thing down pat, and there will be awful days when we want to start a fund for our child’s future therapist visits.  The things to remember, and the same things we tell our kids: try your best. When you make a mistake, say you’re sorry. Ask for help if you need it.

 And remember, your Triangle Mom2Mom family is here for you.

OK, readers--- that’s some of our experience. But today’s column is from all of us, so we’d really like to get your best advice for Sarah too.

Pamela appears Tuesdays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Pamela on her blog Crazy is My Life.