I usually think his opinions and methods are a little harsh and drastic, but I, also, think he was right on the money this time.

I like John Rosemond's columns and almost always agree. But I felt defensive when I read today's column. I guess because I've been there. It's easy to run errands if my husband is present or I have a lot of time. I let them know my expectations in the car, give them a verbal warning and if they misbehave, we simply leave right away. No explanations. Occasionally, store trips are completely abandoned because of this. But the type of store described (small, organic..) is just the type that is a challange for us: 1) they usually don't have full-sized carts for me to place a child in so both of them have to be on the floor, 2) I'm usually there alone with the kids because I'm running in during the daytime for a few fresh items for dinner, 3) because we are there during the day, there are usually no sitters available and "drop-in" care would cost me about $17 and hour, 4) If I abandoned the trip, I wouldn't have dinner, so I really want to slog through it. It's nearly impossible to contain toddler twins in a store like that! I do the best I can and try to make it fast. Believe me, it's no picnic!

Though his tone sometimes comes off a little condescending, I generally agree with his basic points. Today I especially agreed that it’s not the children that can be annoying, but the parents who don’t seem to care. It becomes a problem when different parents have different ideas about what is and is not acceptable. I think it’s pretty widely agreed that if your toddler is having a meltdown in a restaurant, you should step outside. But not everything is so obvious. The other day, for example, I was eating in a buffet style restaurant with my family. There was a family at the next table with a little girl who looked about 4 or 5. She was constantly running back and forth from the buffet to their table. One time she nearly ran into a server with a stack of plates. The parents never said a word to her. In fact, I overhead the dad encourage it by asking the little girl to “run up and tell mom” something. It was as though the whole family had no idea there was anyone else in the restaurant. Am I old-fashioned for thinking this was rude?

Ahamm,

I don't think you're wrong. Not only is it rude for the parents to let that child run around unchecked, but it's also a safety issue. Imagine if she ran into a server carrying hot coffee or something?

My biggest peeve is parents who think that just because they've taken their kids to a kid-friendly place, they're relieved of all duty to discipline or supervise their offspring. I hate it when my kid gets clocked by some out-of-control older kid, and his or her mom never even looks up from her conversation, let alone apologize.

I'm not perfect, and neither is my daughter. But I do my best to make sure she annoys only me. :-)

John Rosemond is old school and he's about 80% right most of the time in my book. I agree with Ahamm's post and we're always nervous about bringing our son to a restaurant and now that he can sit in his chair the whole time, things are looking up. One time, I spent the entire meal outside Casalinga with him b/c he couldn't behave (he was 3). I diverge with Rosemond when he says that you shouldn't give different food to a child than what's given the rest of the family and that you shouldn't have snacks or water on hand for a hungry/thirsty kid (maybe if the kid is 12 it's a different story than when the kid is 2).

Alice Osborn, MA
www.aliceosborn.com

I think John Rosemond is completely off target. Sometimes I think it is a detriment to good parenting to run his column. I missed this particular column though. I don't read him.