I never knew Kay Yow. As a Duke grad, I cheer for Blue Devils, not the Wolfpack. And as a tennis fan, I’m much more likely to know about Venus, Serena and Novak than any women’s college basketball player.

But all day, she’s been on my mind, ever since I got the news that Coach Yow had lost her 20-year battle with cancer.

Twenty years! The concept of fighting an enemy for 20 years is difficult to imagine. In the United States, our longest war, the Vietnam War, was 18 years. The idea of doing a daily battle for health for two decades is mind-boggling.

During those twenty years, there were undoubtedly good times. There were periods of remission and renewed health. But I don’t doubt that every ache or pain felt during those years was accompanied by the cold fear—has the cancer come back?

It would be enough to make any person yearn to spend the rest of her life hiding under the bedcovers, in search of a safe place.

But that wasn’t what Coach Yow did. Instead she lived her life. And what a life it was. Coaching the NC State women to multiple ACC championships and NCAA appearances, leading U.S. teams to Olympic gold and Goodwill Games.

No doubt there are many other people who are struggling for health, who continue to live their lives, perform their jobs and take care of their families. I am in awe of you as well.

I hope that I never have to face the challenges of cancer like Coach Yow. But I hope that if I do, I can use her memory to help me face my situation with as much grace, strength and unselfishness as Coach Yow did.