Summer is almost officially over, as the start of school is days away. Of course, like all summers that pass, it is only now that I have fully adjusted to our routine and will be sad to see it go.

As far as summers rank, this has been one of the best. Somehow, without even trying, we had the perfect blend of nothing to do and somewhere to go. Big Guy and Little Guy never complained - not even once - as they both relished in their own new found independence, each doing mostly their own thing while still spending time together.

I can toast my crowing achievements. I found a way to work when the kids were home, successfully tuning out the knee hockey, Wii and putting games taking place 3 feet behind my back. I made it through the summer without hosting one sleepover. And, I finally appreciate the game of four square.

For many a summer, I have sat and watched the kids at the pool battle it out on the four square court. Most of the day, the four square court is empty, as kids are busy swimming. But, during the mandatory, ten minute breaks every hour, the line winds long as children, from the youngest to the oldest and the shortest to the tallest, wait patiently to begin in the dunce square with dreams of ending up as king.

When Big Guy and Little Guy were toddling around, they were mesmerized by the four square kids. Chewing on their candy, slurping slushies held in cups lined up around the painted squares, the four square kids would laugh and be silly. I’d witness balls being slammed, kids doing a little pushing and the occasional, not horrible, but definitely bad word. Not fully grasping anything but the fact that there was a ball and kids involved, Little Guy and Big Guy salivated as they waited to be big enough to join.

When that summer finally arrived, the boys excitedly took their place in line. And I became the not so invisible spy, sitting patiently, ready to interfere if needed. After all, they were just learning to play. Sometimes, frustration from getting out too many times got the best of them. Other times, they’d slam the ball or argue a call. And then, there were instances when they just needed to be removed from the whole scene. Those moments when kids who took pleasure in making sure the little ones never advanced much past the joker square joined the game.

Just as all things in life come full circle, this was the summer that Big Guy and Little Guy were ready to handle the four square game on their own. I gave them the standard motherly advice to play nice and walked in the opposite direction, taking a seat out of earshot, knowing that if I heard too much I’d not be able to resist the urge to interfere.

Sure, there was one mild, non-injury inducing fistfight between Big Guy and a friend. There were a few temperamental balls being thrown by Little Guy. Big Guy displayed his uncanny ability to be bossy and Little Guy showed that he could taunt with the best of them. They heard a few inappropriate jokes. And there was a day when my boys and their two visiting friends ended up being on the receiving end of some particularly unsportsmanlike behavior when battling some older kids - without success.

But the catch was that I didn’t know about these incidents until the car ride home. And then, I realized that four square was the ideal place for them to learn about life.

Sometimes you’re the king, on top of it all. But at some point, you’ll get knocked down. When that happens, someone standing nearby may be happy to see you go. There will be times you come close to reaching the top, only to fall short. You can either quit or keep trying, remembering that some days it goes your way; some days it doesn’t. Through it all, you need to know when to turn the other cheek, when to stand up for yourself, and when it’s time to walk away.

Most importantly, the person who is trying to hold you down– the person that you can’t stand today - may want to play on the diving boards tomorrow. So when the game is over, move on. Carrying a grudge takes a lot more effort than letting go.

Actually, if you think about it, we’re never to old to learn from four square.

Illyse appears Thursdays on TriangleMom2Mom.