My oldest daughter Ashley is of that age where her friends matter to her and seeing her friends and playing is all she wants to do. She wakes up on the weekends and wants to know if she can play with her friends that day. It actually works to our advantage as we can use it now to punish her if she misbehaves.

But it also is hard sometimes. For example, a few weeks ago she was outside and wanted to play with one of the neighbors. That particular little girl was already playing with another girl and they didn’t want Ashley to play. And Ashley didn’t understand. I carried her home that early evening from the neighbor’s yard, crying. Her heart was broken.

I don’t know what goes on in the head of a five year old. I talked to her about the situation, and reminded her that a couple of times I heard about kids in her Pre-K class asking to play, and she would tell them no. I think she may have gotten a piece of her own medicine. I explained to her that just because this little girl didn’t want to play right then, that I am sure she would play later (and she did).

My only consolation is the fact that I am sure I had similar things happen to me at that age, and I don’t remember them. I also think that she will be more compassionate with friends after this.

But it is just so hard to let go and to not step in and want to correct everything to save the tears that fell. There are days when Ashley seems so big – singing and dancing her little butt off to a Hannah Montana song – and there are days she seems so vulnerable to the world around her. I know how short life is, I want to express that to her, but some days I know I just need to let go. And that right there is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.

Amy appears every Wednesday on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Amy at A Family Story.