blogs
To My Dad
My parents married at the tender age of 20 and decided to have two children. My sister arrived almost a year later. (My son recently asked me, “Were Mema and Pepa [their names for Grandma and Grampa] married when Aunt Lin was born?” I cracked up and said, “Yes, honey. That’s the way they did it back then!”) I followed about two and a half years later and the family was complete. The idea of “trying for a boy” was never mentioned. But somewhere deep down, I always wondered if my Dad would have liked to have had a son. Would have liked me to have been David instead of Diane.
He did a fine job of reading the traditional Christmas Eve story to his two little girls. (That’s me on the right. It was 1966 and I was not yet in Kindergarten. So I’m pretty sure the envious glare at my sister was because I knew she could actually read the words herself!) Since we sported matching pixie cuts (which look remarkably like my hair RIGHT NOW!!), he didn’t have to worry about curls and hair bows. But he also never got a chance to share his hobbies with a son. He never got to coach the Little League team or take his son out hunting for the first time. And my sister and I were never much interested in tinkering with cars or mowing the lawn.
As I think about my Dad on Father’s Day, there are so many things that I am so proud to have been able to share with him, despite my failure to get the “right” chromosome.
A granddaughter to dance with. My daughter gave him his first opportunity to be a grandfather. Unlike me, she gives him no cause for alarm and can’t be blamed for any of the hair he’s lost. (Cue my daughter, wailing, “Mo-o-o-m, that’s such a terrible picture of me. You are ruining my life!”)
A grandson to fish with. And talk about sports with. And play baseball with. And this summer, go to the Baseball Hall of Fame with!
And a daughter, me, who after all the years of not being the son he should have had, can share a love of golf with him. When I worked and worked on my golf game and FINALLY broke 100, the most exciting part of it was that I was playing with my Dad when I finally did it.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad!
Diane appears every Saturday on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Diane at Live and Let Di.
Live and Let Di
Diane is a TriangleMom2Mom featured blogger, appearing every Wednesday.
I try to be the voice of Moms with teens. My daughter Haley is 16. She's at that age where she is convinced that I know nothing. I'm thinking I'll seem a lot smarter when she's 22. We bond over Broadway shows. My son Rory is 13. He started reading the sports page when he was 5 and his passion for anything sports-related has grown ever since. This year he beat out 9 guys in their 40s to win his Fantasy Football League. Watch for him on ESPN in a few years.
My husband Hurley works from home, but travels quite a bit. When he's gone, I usually take a break from making dinner and cleaning the house. Oh, I don't do those things regularly when he's here either! Our parenting philosophy is "choose your battles." The only problem is that we often choose different battles. It keeps it interesting!!!
Diane appears Wednesdays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Diane on her blog Live and Let Di.
Comments
Before you were born, your father may have hoped that he was getting a David instead of a Diane. After you were born, I'm sure he never thought about it again ... at least until your first date.
Unless we are blessed with a surprise (and I mean epic size), we are two and done. I asked my husband the same question when our second child was a girl. He responsed, why even ask that? Two girls were what we were meant to have, it is perfect just that way.
However, I plan to ask the question again, when the girls hit the teen years (and all the hormones) and again when we are on the hook for two weddings.
Here is an excerpt from my father's response:
"That girl is right. I never gave a David a second thought."
I promise that my husband and I will offer my daughter a nice lump sum cash payment and let HER decide whether she wants a big wedding or a nice down-payment on a house. (Or, the way the economy is going, maybe a down-payment on a tank of gas!)
I think big weddings are crazy, excessive and wasteful...but that is for another blog!
As for weddings, I think these days it shouldn't be just the bride and her family's responsibility to pay for it.
I also believe that big weddings are excessive and wasteful. That said, my parents told my sister and I how much money they could give us for a wedding. My sister used it for a down payment on a house. I used it for a small wedding.
I am out of synch, but I love big weddings and was sad when after my second daughter's wedding that phase of my life was done.