You can't judge a book by its cover, goes the saying, and it rang particularly true the other day when I opened an e-mail from my friendly homeowners' association.

I clicked on a link and found a pleasant-enough looking guy, bespectacled, silvery hair parted on the right. Doing the math, I quickly figured this guy was days before his 72nd birthday when he was convicted of taking indecent liberties with a minor.

"Your NC Offender Notification," was the email’s subject line.

Our neighborhood association president takes it upon herself to e-mail every member each time she learns that a sexual offender has moved into our network of sidewalked streets and stately oaks. My street alone has dozens of kids, to the extent that a gent walking his dog jokingly warned me there was “something in the water” that resulted in lots and lots of pregnancies back when my then-fiance and I were house-hunting.

Seven years, lots of water and three kids later, I’m at a loss as to what to do with this e-mail.

Delete it? Unconscionable.

File it? It would only get lost in the yawning abyss that is my inbox

Forward it? With two keystrokes, it's done.

Is that fear-mongering? Perhaps. I must admit, I feel guilty about upping this fellow’s notoriety factor further. I’m not about to bring him a fresh-baked pie to welcome him to the neighborhood, but maybe he’s learned his lesson. Live and let live, you know?

But once I started thinking of icky scenarios, I couldn’t stop. I ran mental assessments of where my kids might run into this sketchy character. At the popular neighborhood playground around the corner? On the sidewalk riding their bikes?

There’s a reason why sex offenders rank with the worst of the worst in prison. Hardened criminals don’t like a guy who preys on little kids.
Parents like them even less.

To be honest, this fellow in the mug shot on my computer screen looks like the definition of innocuous and not at all like some sleazy thug. In truth, I don’t know the particulars of his conviction. The state’s Web site tells me he was convicted three years ago, served an 18-month sentence for indecent liberty with a minor and walked out a free man on May 6.

It’s only the scantest of details. Still, it’s more detail than I’d know otherwise.

Sex offenders are required to register with their county sheriff, informing them of where they’re living. Sheriffs share that information with the state.
Anyone can sign up with the N.C. Offender and Public Protection Registry, to be tipped off, via e-mail or phone, when an offender moves into your “alert area.” Go here to sign up.

N.C. Attorney General Roy Cooper made me feel better about forwarding that e-mail, confirming on the Sex Offender Registry site that “knowing when offenders move into your neighborhood and where they live can be an important tool in keeping families and communities safe.”

When I clicked around the site and learned that Wake County is home to 548 sex offenders, second only to Mecklenburg County’s 609, I decided I would no longer rely on the goodwill of my homeowners’ association president. I signed myself up to receive the e-mail alerts too.

It’s a pretty handy service, allowing you to map all offenders' addresses up to five miles away from any site you want. That can include your home, your kid’s school or daycare, even your favorite park.

To temper my uneasiness, I turned to Google. With a few keystrokes, I learned that this unsavory gent – though he looks like he could be somebody’s grandpa and probably is – lives an entire exit away from me, off the beltline. We share a zipcode but little else.

I breathed a sigh of relief, secure that my kids are safe – until that next offender registry email lands in my inbox.

Bonnie appears Mondays on TriangleMom2Mom.