I learned something new online today: There aren't actually any cheap wigs. I even typed in those very words: cheap wigs.

And why, pray tell, am I searching for synthetic hair, preferable long and just begging to be cut by an almost-six-year-old? Because she can't seem to resist cutting her OWN hair. I am going insane. Last night I was brushing my teeth and glanced towards her sink (we have a Jack-and-Jill bathroom) and there on the floor were several long strands of brown hair and there in the sink above the evidence lay a pair of scissors. When confronted, the hysterical sobs were accompanied by a long, drawn-out wail "BUT HOW DID YOU KNOOOOWWWW?????"

I don't know if I should feel complimented by my deductive reasoning or insulted that she thought I couldn't put one and one together. No matter: I was angry.

One of the (many) blessings of working in a tiny high school is that there are many, many other mothers and teachers that love to ponder the little mysteries of childhood. "She needs to feel the sensation of the scissors" "It's about control" "Maybe she'll be a hairdresser like my daughter-in-law" and so on.

A few hours of this later, I got online and began my search for cheap wigs. Maybe, just maybe a wig or two Velcroed to one of those Styrofoam heads will assuage whatever driving force is inside a normally pretty obedient and able to resist temptation little girl. Until I can run some cheapies to ground, however, a scissors-ban is in effect in our house: She is grounded from using them for one week.

For a child that loves to sew and embroider, this is (hopefully) quite a blow. She will get the scissors-privilege restored in time for her birthday, in time for her to receive her much-coveted present: an American Girl doll. Even I am unable to resist the power of these dolls and their brilliant marketing schemes. Which doll? The one with the longest hair, of course . (That would be Julie, the hippie-ish doll from the 70's).

Could anything make you feel older than having a decade from your childhood be designated "historical?" I didn't think so.

But with Julie's arrival, the real test arrives: can she keep her hands (and the scissors) off the doll's hair? Or is Julie soon to be transformed into Julian? Only time will tell.

And anyone out there with some cheap wigs...you know where to find me.

Leigh Sparacino appears Fridays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Leigh on her blog Flipper and Me.