A few weekends ago, Big Guy played his last soccer game with his team.  It was a bittersweet moment.  Many of these boys have been together since they were four.  Most will be sticking together, progressing to the next level next season.  But not Big Guy.

You see, soccer was not the only sport Big Guy played last spring.  For the past few seasons, both Big Guy and Little Guy have juggled multiple sports.  A little bit of hockey mixed in with a little bit of soccer.  Sprinkled with some basketball and the occasional tennis clinic.  All of the “extra” extra-curricular activities.  

Now Big Guy’s at an age where these recreational activities take it up a notch. Choices abound.  And if you want to take advantage of your options, you need to commit more of your time.  Which, in our world, means it’s time for him to pick only one.

It seems ridiculous that at such a young age, we have to choose.  But today, specialization starts early. Whether or not your child is going to be the next Beckham, Gretzky, Jordan, Chipper Jones or Mia Hamm is a moot point.  There’s a structure in place that makes you believe your child could be that good.  One day.  A system set up to accommodate. Regardless of age or skill.
 
I’m not knocking it. I’m an accomplice.  A willing participant.  As so many others have done before me, I have bought into this.  In fairness to us – the parents - we love our kids.  We love it when our kids love something.  We promote it.  Encourage it.  

So with our input, Big Guy selected only one.  That was the easy part.  Because once we made that choice, there were even more options to evaluate.  

All of these choices are a byproduct of our suburban living, where the motto is “have car, will travel."  Especially if it’s for the well being of our kids.  Activities cater to us.  Sweetly invite us to come along. Sell us on the numerous, immeasurable benefits to our children, which we know to be true.  Since we obviously want what’s best for our kids, we oblige.  

Our access to infinite choices begins early.  We get our first taste when we become parents.  We decide how to care for these tiny beings. Day care?  A nanny? Or perhaps we’ll be staying at home?  

During the toddler years, we slowly venture out from our little, simple world to begin the official growing up process. Where we are bombarded with even more choices.  Kindermusic or Little Gym?  Playgroups or preschool?  And if so, how many days a week?

Don’t get too comfortable.  Elementary school is just around the corner.  You’ve got your base, your magnets, charters, private, year round, traditional and home school.  Just to mention a few.  You’ll pull your hair out as you search and search, looking for the perfect fit.

Once you’ve finally settled into school, new doors open.  This is when the “extras” really come into play.  Our kids now have a voice.  They tell us what they want to do.  We begin the investigative process.  It starts innocently enough.  We evaluate.  Compare.  Who offers what, where and at which price point. The choices are plentiful.

Along the way, as we choose, our activities become as spread out as our schools.  Take a look at the kids on your street.  They’re at different schools with different hours. Depending on the day of the week, one group of kids is outside playing.  The other group is in their soccer uniforms, hockey pants, baseball hats, swim trunks, or dance clothes trudging up and down the driveways with bags, waiting to be shuttled off by their parents.  Cars zip out of driveways and zip back in from late afternoon to late evening.  

During the baby years, Really Big Guy and I watched the chauffeuring parents in disbelief.  We vowed to keep things simple.  Well, remember the golden rule of parenting:  NEVER SAY NEVER.  We blinked and that vow was unintentionally left behind, as we fell into our own groove of running our kids around town.

As we run, we continuously remind ourselves that it wasn’t like this when we were kids. That when we were young, we just played in the neighborhood.  And then played for our high school.  Yet we have grown accustomed to this way of life.  Even though we may complain as we gas up the car for the second time in seven days or as we rush through a late dinner to get the boys under their covers at a reasonable bedtime, we stick with it.

What we learn is that having access to such an abundance of choices is a good thing. If we choose wisely.  And figure out a balance that works.  

You don’t have to jump on the bandwagon just yet.  Resist all you want. Hold off as long as possible.  I commend you if you can.  But with so much available, don’t be surprised if your will power wiggles.  

So excuse me while I figure out how to get Little Guy to soccer and Big Guy to the ice rink at the same time.

Illyse appears every Thursday on TriangleMom2Mom.