I think that 30 years from now, my husband and I will still be talking about our Hilton Head moment.

It was a beautiful day in early October and we had taken a family vacation to Hilton Head during my daughter’s first track out from kindergarten. My husband and I were relaxing in our beach chairs while the kids played nearby.  I was on page 112 of my book and my husband was on his third golf magazine from the stack he had brought from home.  We had just finished a picnic lunch and were relaxing after a busy morning of building sand castles, watching starfish and playing various games with balls.  

My husband looked up and said “I think this is the first time that we have actually been able to enjoy Laurel and Trevor while we are on a vacation.”  Since we had traveled extensively with the kids, I first looked at him like he was crazy because we always talked about how much fun we had with them on vacation. Then it hit me what he meant.

The kids were now old enough and self-sufficient enough that my husband and I could read and talk while they played (not in the water, of course).  One of us didn’t have to be two feet from them at all times to make sure they didn’t have a snack on the shells or make a mad dart into the water.  Our days had been filled with lots of hours of playing with them, but we had also been able to have time for ourselves.

A few weeks later, after all the sand had been cleaned from the car and we had settled back into the routine of life.  I realized that my husband’s statement was also true now that we were back at home.  I am still not sure if my kids became independent overnight or I was just able to realize that I could step back.  But after that vacation, my life changed in many subtle ways.  My kids started playing by themselves upstairs. When we went to a friend’s house, they were big enough for me to be in other room eating chips with my friends while they played with the kids.  And while we were playing outside, they could be in the backyard while I still in earshot in the front yard.   They still needed me, but not two feet away from them.  

Since that glorious day on the beach over a year ago, we’ve noticed other small milestones – the kids can open the car door by themselves, they don’t have to watched every moment they are in the tub and they are even big enough to push a vacuum cleaner. I wish that several years ago when we had a one year and a two and half year old that someone had told us that our time would come.  Now that I think about it, I am pretty sure that people tried but we were too busy keeping the kids from falling down the stairs to realize that they were telling us the truth.  

Jennifer appears Mondays on TriangleMom2Mom.