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Please...tell me how!!

Well, I have to say---I just don't know how all of you full-time working mothers do it. (No, Sarah Palin, I'm not actually talking about you). But I am talking about real mothers that work full-time all day every day. I, it must be confessed, work part-time, 30 (plus a few more) hours a week. 7:30-1:30; great hours, I know. Plus insurance!!!! But I have been slowly taking on a bit more in committees and now assistant coaching our high school's co-ed soccer team, and as a result I am coming home
at 5-6 every night, 5 nights a week.

Even though Flipper is more than happy to stay in after-care for those hours, afterschool is officially over at 3:15, I feel guilty. The poor dogs, home alone all day, I feel guilty. My hastily assembled meals-more guilt. Somewhat messy house, with only the downstairs remotely presentable-guilty again!

And yet-I wouldn't trade this current schedule for much of anything right now, (except a clean house) because it is really, really fun and exciting and fulfilling, Flipper is happy, as she would much prefer running amok on the playground than going home with boring old me, and it will end in 6 or 7 weeks. But what about my friends that do this every day, day in and day out? How do you get everything clean and laundered and folded and cooked and washed and dried and walked and fed? Really, how do you do this when you get home at 5:30 or 6? Now, I admit that the fact that I generally pass out around 9 and sleep until 4 or 5 cuts into what could be some seriously productive hours, but I am TIRED at night, and so am not motivated to do much else beyond dinner and a shower. Flipper, thankfully, is pretty independent, can take a bath unsupervised, wash her hair, and do all the pre-bed prep work. I cannot imagine having a baby or toddler that I had to actively deal with hour after hour.

And do you feel guilty at all, or is it just me, like so many things seem to be? Either way, this has been a really, really good eye-opener for me-I wish I could afford a maid is one such realization, along with the awareness that Flipper, as long as she is engaged and happy with wonderful adults in her life is, well, enough. For now. But seriously...how do you do it??

Leigh appears Fridays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Leigh on her blog Flipper and Me.

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annefairleigh's picture

Leigh Sparacino

Leigh is a TriangleMom2Mom featured blogger, appearing every Monday.

Leigh grew up in Durham, attended college in North Carolina, left the area for an island off the coast of Georgia, the high mountains of Colorado, and her favorite mountains in western North Carolina, before returning to the Triangle eight years ago. She lives near Carrboro with her 4.5-year-old daughter Flipper and two dogs. She is single in marital status only, surrounded by friends, family, and her daughter's very involved and loving father. She works part-time and tries to be as involved as possible in her daughter's school, The Emerson Waldorf School, where Flipper is a kindergartner. She likes wood, glass and other natural materials for toys, loves the principles of Waldorf education and hates plastic. She might be the only person in the world with no TV and who hasn't been to a movie in 15 years, but races to the mailbox every Saturday for the most recent issue of People magazine. In other words, a contradiction. Or just human.

Leigh appears Fridays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Leigh on her blog Flipper and Me.

Posted on September 18, 2009 by annefairleigh.

Comments

dineer526's picture
by dineer526 6 mon. ago.

I worked full time and had a commute of one hour each way when my kids were infants and toddlers. And I honestly have no clue how I did it. I also exercised religiously at the time and somehow got the groceries done as well. I know that laundry was always my Achilles' heel. It seemed insurmountable and was always the thing that was nagging at me at 9:30 or 10 at night when I just wanted to go to sleep. I can't imagine doing that now...my only explanation is that I was 16 years younger than I am now!

lilybug's picture
by lilybug 6 mon. ago.

I always wonder this same thing. A girlfriend told me that when you've always worked, you just don't know any different, and you figure it all out....but for moms that have been at home trying to go back to work, it can seem overwhelming. Obviously, there is no way you can do all the same things you did at home before. I think your kids learn to do alot more too.

cmk617's picture
by cmk617 6 mon. ago.

It is a real struggle at times to work full time and take care of kids, a house, and a husband. :) Being a teacher in a year round school, I love that just when everyone is exhausted by the daily schedule of school, homework, activities and such, we get three weeks off to rest.  Having no family in the area, it is nice to travel every few months to see the grandparents out of state. I put off all of the serious house cleaning until we track out..that's when I clean out closets, really dust all the corners that I have ignored, and catch up on household projects.  I am always impressed with how other working moms juggle it all -- my sister is a widow with two kids and still manages to handle it all. She's a super woman!

Goodmom's picture
by Goodmom 3 mon. ago.

Working full time and taking care of 3 demanding youngsters is enormously demanding. Inevitably something has to give and for me it's been my own personal interests and hobbies. Work, family and home must all come first.
I really feel for single mums who don't have the support of a partner with both the family finances and the child care.
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zaithyn's picture
by zaithyn 2 mon. ago.

It's really a hard task as a mom to work full-time and at the same time you are taking care of your children everyday. But sometimes it gives you motivation and inspiration to keep going strong because you have to give them a better future.

Regards,
Zai
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jvisna's picture
by jvisna 1 mon. ago.

My friend got part time job because she cannot do all the tasks like cleaning, washing clothes ( women stuff), she let her sister do the house tasks. I salute women who works full time and still have time for themselves and other tasks and still looks great!

regards,

jvisna
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