To all the deadbeat, no good dads and husbands/boyfriends out there who have abandoned their pregnant significant others, wives and children, offering no financial or emotional support — I commend you.

It is indeed a sad time that demonstrating a lack of responsibility or involvement is worthy of praise, but when I look at articles in the news, it is clear that those of you who have chosen to walk (crawl) away have actually made the better decision.

Cases in point in the past year:

Mary Esther Avellaneda, Sampson County mother, found dead after last being seen with her estranged husband.

Kelly Morris, Granville County mom, missing since Sept. 3.  According to the Granville County Sheriff, her husband is a person of interest.

Nancy Cooper of Cary, found dead in an undeveloped subdivision.  Her husband has been charged with her death.

And just recently, Abby Baughn, vice principal for a Southern Pines high school shot and killed in her home.  Her husband has been charged.

Unfortunately, I could go on with many more examples, both local and national.  A while ago, in a fit of frustration and anger, I wrote about some of these crimes in a previous blog: "Why I Want My Husband to Leave Me," but sadly, one blog doesn’t change things, and these situations continue.

What can be done to save other women like these?  In some cases, they were already going through the process of divorce.  Some may even have had restraining orders. Or maybe the husbands/boyfriends hadn’t ever exhibited frightening behavior. So short of putting a .38 under your pillow on your wedding night, being alert to dangerous behavior, or always watching the man you love and trust with a suspicious eye, it’s hard to think of how these moms can protect themselves.

That’s why I’m taking a minute to talk to the men who’ve walked off the job. Who have left the mothers of their children to struggle with raising a family while holding a job and paying the rent.  You left, but at least you left them alive.  

I wish more men could be like you.

And to the women whose men have not yet done them the favor of abandoning them -- albeit still alive -- here are some resources for you.  

North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Interact of Wake County

Nancy’s Butterfly Fund, created in honor of Nancy Cooper to help those affected by domestic abuse includes: Signs to Look for in a Battering Personality and Is Your Partner Abusing You?

TriangleMom2Mom's domestic violence resource page 

Pamela appears Tuesdays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Pamela on her blog Crazy is My Life.