We are back, and reentry was hard.

We left a breezy, warm 74 degree day and returned to a cold, windy, still-winter North Carolina evening. Upon arrival at home, Flipper walked in, burst into tears, and said, I don't want to be here!!! How awful.

Florida and Georgia were fantastic. Saw more animals (particularly birds) than I expected, has transcendent day with manatees, discovered new places to go, incredible things to see.

Flipper is a good traveler, used to toting her backpack and rolling suitcase through acres of airport, patient on long drives and able to sit and listen (or sit and tune out) naturalist tour guides tell us about the local flora and fauna. Usually, she and I were the only people under 65 or so on the guided trips, and, naturally, the only child for miles around got a fair amount of attention.

The proud-mommy in me loves this; I, deservedly or not feel like a good parent when people comment on her good manners, or her ability to sit through a fancy dinner at a nice restaurant - although it is more due to the fact that she is a slow eater than any magical parenting skills-and so, by extension, compliments to Flipper make me feel good.

Now that she is older, she is more aware of other people, and of herself. The compliments about how she looks now make her slightly embarrassed, although she always says "thank you." She got a lot of attention in Florida; an extra manatee stamp because "you're so cute!," many comments on how pretty she is, her brown eyes, and so on.

I'm telling you: Take a baby or child to any part of Florida that is away from Disney, and the compliments will fly. But, as with all things, there is another side to all of the laudatory remarks. There is more, so much more, to life than being "pretty."

But even Flipper, at 5, knows that it feels good to get attention for cuteness. She doesn't grasp the concept that "it's what's inside that counts" or any other ways we try to tell children that looks don't matter. Children know looks DO matter. It often determines who is popular, who gets attention, and studies have shown that teachers are more responsive to physically attractive students than those less-conventionally attractive.

One of my more favorite parenting books addresses this issue, which seems to happen more to little girls than little boys with the advice that any compliment on a child's physical appearance should be met with a comment about the child's other sterling qualities. And so a compliment of "Aren't you beautiful!" should be answered with "And she's a great soccer player too!"

While I "get" the logic of this, I cannot imagine much of anything that would make you a more insufferable parent. And so we continue with the thank yous, and avoid any other comments about her.

 I just can't bring myself to say "And she's a great knitter, too!" without sounding like a total nightmare. But Flipper, like the vast, vast majority of us, will probably receive less and less remarks about her eyes, or her hair, or her "cuteness" as she gets older.

For her sense of self, I hope so. I also hope she doesn't notice when it fades, or worse, miss it. I wish, for her, just health and normalcy. More good days than bad.

But not, no matter how pretty she does or does not become, a feeling that it is all there is. A favorite singer-songwriter said it best: "When beauty's all you offer, how soon the world discovers that your beauty's gone."

Leigh appears Fridays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Leigh at her blog Flipper and Me.