I think we all have things we remember our mothers saying over and over, sometimes to us and sometimes about us. There might be a specific quote you hoped you’d never hear yourself say and there might be a few words of wisdom that you really would like to pass to your own children. And in my case, mom occasionally said things that just make me laugh. In honor of Mother’s Day, I’d like to share some of the things I remember coming out of my mom’s mouth, and how much more fully I understand some of them now that I have kids of my own.

1) It’s always something. This was essentially a sigh with words. But it wasn’t really a complaint. It’s just that sometimes, no matter how much you love your kids, you just wish your 10-year-old would have remembered that thing for school a few hours sooner or that the baby’s nap could have lasted just a bit longer. Mom had a nonverbal version of this as well. I can’t type it, but if you’ve ever watched The Simpsons, you’ve probably heard it. Mom was using that noise long before Marge came on the air.

2) This is why we can’t have nice things. I bet you can guess what type of incident would prompt this phrase. And with four little incidents running around (and their friends), this was one of those things mom said quite a bit. And while I’m pretty sure I’ve never actually used those words (yet), I know the sentiment. We have a couch that I don’t really care for. Anytime I entertain thoughts of shopping for a new one, the next thought is generally something along the lines of “Let’s at least wait until everyone is potty trained.”

3) Did you look where it belongs? We all found this question frustrating at the time, mostly because we couldn’t understand why mom was the one who sounded annoyed when we were the ones who couldn’t find something. What it usually meant though was that mom had gotten tired of looking at something lying on the floor (or otherwise not where it belonged) and put it away. I see her side now.

4) The next time I find ______ , it’s going in the trash. This was a scary sentence because it was not an empty threat. I once dug a pair of shoes that were “just getting cool” out of the trash and there is a story floating around the family of mom tossing out a partially completed science project.

5) Why can’t you act like a person? I’m not sure if mom said this more than once or if it was just so memorable the first time, it seemed like a regular expression. It was aimed at my brother, the youngest. He was (is?) known for having repetitive habits. There was one time he was sitting next to mom doing something over and over that I’m not sure he even realized he was doing. He was wearing headphones and didn’t know how loud he was getting. Mom sort of snapped. It’s possible you had to be there.

6) It’s hard on the chair, it’s hard on the floor and it’s hard on your mother. Not to be too hard on my brother, but this was another quote inspired by him alone. Mom hated it when he tipped his chair back on two legs and none of us girls did that. I guess we had a healthy fear of landing on our heads. It took mom saying this many times before the message sank in with her only son.

7) I have all the help I can stand. I actually said this one myself the other day. It’s what gave me the idea for this post. Y and J like to help me at the store. When someone offered to give me a hand ten seconds after Y accidentally ran a shopping cart into the back of my leg, these words came out of my mouth before I even knew who put them there.

8) A child’s ability to help is inversely proportional to a child’s desire to help. See above.

9) Don’t give them ideas. Blame dad for this expression. Sometimes he’s a big kid. It’s a quality I admire even more now that he’s willing to get right down on the floor with the grandkids and even look like he’s having as much fun as they are. But mom was always a bit wary. What she meant was, just because the kids might figure out how to parachute Barbie from the garage roof on their own doesn’t make it OK for you to start them down that path.

10) Who says that? Mom only said this once and that’s all it took to stick. At the time, it illustrated to my sister and I just how uncool mom was. Anytime after that we’d just look at each other and say, “Who says that?” whenever mom did anything, you know, mom-like. We still use the phrase to mock mom on occasion, but it’s different now. Now I have to think about what my own kids might one day remember me saying. I’m hoping they think I’m just as uncool.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Mandy appears Saturdays on TriangleMom2Mom.