Well, as usual, Rosemond and I don't generally see eye-to-eye. I think the idea of a child's privacy from their parents - private conversations, friends, writings, activities,--all which should not be subject to parent's knowledge is silly. Especially at age seven. That is not to say that parents should be underhanded or sneaky, but that it is understood that in a family, that secrets between those that you love, are rare. If secrets are necessary, they are known about and agreed upon, or divulged shortly. Kids will naturally take the space they need to grow up on their own, some more than others. But anything my kids say, write, or do, should be open to loved ones (read their parents), unless some special understanding is made otherwise. If the parents had an understanding that the daughter could keep special thoughts secret in her diary, then snuck behind her back, that is dishonest. But in general, I think all kid's communications are fair game for the parents to know. I have found and read copious notes from my kids over the years from careless scraps of papers in bookbags, in piles of stuff, diaries, letters to friends, where ever. But they clearly understand this, and don't feel threatened by it. I don't feel sneaky by flipping through a school notebook and finding notes to friends. Otherwise, I would never look at their schoolwork, or they would never scribble in the sidelines to friends. Neither is reasonable. Teens are another story: My college aged son has his facebook strictly "NP" (the "non-parent" label that he is free to use). I feel comfortable with that. He's more responsible and adult-like than I am in many ways. My other teen's facebook I read routinely, and she has totally no problem with that. but teens are a whole different idea than Rosemond is addressing with elementary children. The idea that a seven year old could have a facebook, or diary, or friends, that her parents were not privy to, I think is unnecessary. Anyway, I tend to think a seven year old that expresses herself should be listened to by her parents, whether in a diary, or screaming to them at the top of her lungs. It is still an expression of who she is and what she thinks, and the parents should deal with it in whatever way they think is an appropriate manner--whether they think ignoring it, or confronting it, is dependent on the child and the situation. Sorry for the verbose reaction, but I so disagree with what Rosemond says. I don't think a seven year old's expressions should be ignored by their parents. And I don't think seven year olds need a private life too private to be shared with their parents.

I remember when seven year olds came over to play at our house and tried to shut the door to the room the kids were playing in. No way. We had an open door policy. My house was strictly open door to any room the kids were playing in, at all times, no matter who was over. Again, the privacy idea that rooms or diaries are places where they can let it rip, I don't buy. I guess I think they can let it rip in ways that don't need to be private. At least not at age seven.