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Sex ed belongs in schools
Last week I opened up this can of worms while discussing recent legislation here in North Carolina. I didn’t feel like I could do the whole issue of sex education justice in just that one post. So if you hated me last week, you might want to click away from me this week.
I am one of those people who really tries to see both sides of an argument and I think I learn something from those who have opinions that differ from mine. I happen to believe that kids should get comprehensive sex education. I wish that we could count on them getting it at home, but they don’t and we have a host of pregnant teens who could attest to that.
The current disputes about sex education are nothing new. As a matter of fact, me holding opinions about sex education is nothing new. In an article from my hometown newspaper The Utica Observer Dispatch that was published on Oct. 14, 1976 about the defeat of a sex education proposal, I was interviewed and said: "I think it should be optional. Some kids they really don't know the stuff and you have to have a place to learn it ..."
I was 14 and a sophomore in high school. And yes, that’s me with my maiden name of Miller, my
version of the Farrah flip, those horrendous glasses and a surprisingly less emphatic opinion on sex education.
Without comprehensive sex education, who knows what information kids are getting about sex, birth control, etc. Old wives’ tales about preventing pregnancy abound in ours and previous generations. In my mom’s era, girls were told that if they douche with Coca-Cola, that would prevent pregnancy. Her Catholic friends were schooled in the rhythm method and had four, five, six or seven children to attest to its efficacy. Some people in my generation still believe that a girl can’t get pregnant while she has her period. Several people I know are currently parenting children conceived using the foolproof method of pulling out.
My opinion is that having more information about birth control and other aspects of sexuality will not make kids more inclined to have sex before we want them to. And now, the stakes are even higher. In addition to worrying about teen pregnancy, we are looking at HIV and chlamydia and other sexually transmitted diseases that can threaten our children’s health and even their lives. Although I’m sure that those who disagree with my opinion have their own data, this is an article that I feel helps support my opinion and the provision of comprehensive sex education to our youth: Study Casts Doubt on Abstinence-Only Programs
My hope is that my kids will be armed with as much information as possible when it comes time for them to decide whether or not to have sex. I hope that they will remember the talks we have had about what a huge and irrevocable step it is to have sex. I hope that they will remember this until they are truly in love and mature enough to handle not only the act, but the potential consequences. I hope against hope that they don’t look back on their first experiences with regret. But if those talks go flying out the window of the car as they climb in the backseat, I sure hope they use condoms!
Let the floodgates open! I want to hear from all ends of the spectrum of opinion about this important issue! I would also love to know if parents of middle and high school children feel differently than parents of preschool or elementary school kids.
Diane appears Wednesdays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Di on her blog Live and Let Di.
Live and Let Di
Diane is a TriangleMom2Mom featured blogger, appearing every Wednesday.
I try to be the voice of Moms with teens. My daughter Haley is 16. She's at that age where she is convinced that I know nothing. I'm thinking I'll seem a lot smarter when she's 22. We bond over Broadway shows. My son Rory is 13. He started reading the sports page when he was 5 and his passion for anything sports-related has grown ever since. This year he beat out 9 guys in their 40s to win his Fantasy Football League. Watch for him on ESPN in a few years.
My husband Hurley works from home, but travels quite a bit. When he's gone, I usually take a break from making dinner and cleaning the house. Oh, I don't do those things regularly when he's here either! Our parenting philosophy is "choose your battles." The only problem is that we often choose different battles. It keeps it interesting!!!
Diane appears Wednesdays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Diane on her blog Live and Let Di.
Comments
I have absolutely no statistics on the relationship between sex ed and kids engaging in sex.... none.....but I do know that the classes are titillating for many teens.
But...I do know that statistics have shown that more kids than ever are smoking. So much for the 25 + years of teaching kids that smoking is bad for them. I think talking about it has made it more appealing. JMHO but the stats seem to back me up.
JOANN
I think kids need to be taught sex education. As Diane said, they need to know that deciding to have sex is a huge decision and can have many ramifications. I don't know how many kids are getting the facts at home, and therefore think that the school needs to be the place to ensure that the kids receive an intelligent education about it.
While kids may snicker, I don't think that merely talking about it will enduce them to sneak off and try it any sooner.
It is a difficult line to walk because most parents want to preach "abstinence only," but most of us can't say that that works-- even for us. The reality is, most teenagers and young adults will not remain abstinent. In that case, I hope they are prudent, knowledgeable and prepared.
To JDK: Actually the statistics on teen smoking show huge decreases since the 1990's. Teen smoking peaked in 1997, fell continuously until 2002, and then leveled off until this past year when it fell to the lowest rates ever. Here's a link to the Monitoring the Future 2008 report (one of the three annual surveys done, all with same findings): http://monitoringthefuture.org/pressreleases/08cigpr.pdf . Back to the original topic, Diane is right -- the statistics indicate that abstinence-only programs are failing our teens. Agree that kids find the classes titillating, but that's true even when the topic is as benign as development of secondary sex characteristics, menstruation, etc., and surely we don't want to stop teaching kids about such things. Comprehensive sex ed doesn't encourage kids to have sex. In fact, discussing something -- especially something perceived as a "forbidden topic" -- openly, honestly (including the risks), and in a matter-of-fact way removes much of the mystique, glamour, and allure (and the titillation). I understand that some parents might want to have their kids opt out of the classes, but hopefully not because they're worried their kids will become more curious about sex. Kids ARE curious, and comprehensive sex education will do more to satisfy that curiosity than giving them the impression sex isn't something we should talk about. It's a public health issue, and knowledge is power -- power kids need to fight the misinformation and persuasive messages they get from peers and the media. End of sermon :-).
Mom of 2 teens
I have not heard any indications from the youth with whom I associate that would lead me to believe they find it "titillating." More often, I think they find it embarrassing, gross and even frightening. I guess it's like those car crash films they used to show in Driver's Ed...hearing about the variety of sexually transmitted diseases and discussing the biological functions in a clinical fashion is anything but titillating.
To confirm my supposition, I just invited two of the 15-16 year old girls hanging out at my house to come in my room and tell me their feelings about sex eduction. They said they have only had abstinence education and think that both should be available. Their worry is that kids whose parents preach abstinence will be too intimidated to go to their parents if they have questions about birth control or if they are thinking of becoming sexually active.
It isn't all about Sex!
My 18 year old is due for her first Gyn exam and I was going to explain the Pap test and why it is so important but she said "It's OK Mom, we learned about that in Sex Ed".
I am a nurse and work with Gyn Cancer patients. We have many young women in their Teens, 20's and 30's with cervical cancer and they did not get Pap tests! A simple generally painless test could catch this issue early when it can be easily treated.
I am in favor of giving these kids information that may save their lives.
Rosemary
And does anyone remember when the state of Texas did not want to offer the HPV vaccine because they thought it would encourage kids to have sex younger? OMG!!!! They have sex regardless of concerns of pregnancy and STDs. Do they really think the concern of cervical cancer is going to stop them?
I read the article that you linked to. It says that according to a specific study, kids who had abstinence only sex ed did not delay having sex and were no more or less likely to use condems. They seem to use this info to prove that abstinence only sex ed doesn't work. But (using only the info in that article) it sounds like comprehensive sex ed isn't any better. The data was the same for both groups. Which I think points to the fact that other factors (including what kids learn at home) are far more important in influencing their decisions about sex than a few days in a classroom, no matter the content.
In all the various debates about teaching abstinence, birth control, etc, it all seems to be only about teenagers. While the goal of delaying sex until past age 15, 18, or even until whatever age they get married is worthwhile, what about debating that this knowledge is important even past the teen years? That comprehensive sex ed is equipping them for the rest of their lives? This information will help them whenever it is they start to have sex, whether it's as teenagers or later.
Even if your kids manage to stay virgins until marriage, unless they don’t care how many babies they produce they’ll need to know about birth control. But hey, I suppose they can always still use the one method they WERE taught – abstinence… “Sorry dear, not this year. We’re not ready to have kids yet, and it’s the only way I know to prevent it!”
Is sex ed working when 40% of all babies are born to single mothers? Is smoking education working when 12-13 % of teens still smoke after 35 years of throwing money at this problem? (Just a year before the stats cited in the article linked above by mezzoforte, the same guy at Univ. of Michigan was saying that the decline in smoking was over.) I stand corrected on the stats cited by UM but I was really referring to the raw numbers of teens who smoke now compared to many years ago. I do not pretend to know the answers, just think the results should be better than this. While I agree with all of the above arguments FOR sex education, I find it immeasurably sad that this responsibility has had to be placed in the hands of people (teachers) about whom we really know so little. We do not know what their values, ethics, or morals are, let alone their attitudes toward sex.