Have I empowered my 23-month-old daughter too much already?

“Elmo?” Maya asks sweetly from the backseat of our station wagon. She’s asking me to turn on an Elmo song. By now I know what her response will be, but I oblige anyway.

Maybe this time will be different? It’s not, though.

“Nooo,” she screams when the “Sesame Street Theme” song comes through the speakers.

I try another Elmo song.

“Nooo. No,” she cries and the tears start rolling down her face.

I try one last time, switching to a song I know she likes.

“Nooo, nooo, nooo,” and her legs start kicking and the tears fall faster.

I’ve repeated this scenario at least a half a dozen times. Why bother? I’m not sure but tonight I’m deleting all Elmo songs from my Ipod.

The other day while shopping, I found an adorable pink and orange dress for Maya. She ran away from me when I tried to see if it would fit. I bought it anyway. She protested a few days later when I pulled the dress out for her to wear. I poured on the compliments as I dressed her (“so pretty, Maya,” “What a fun dress, Maya,” etc.) and it worked. She walked off to show her older brother. I directed her to the mirror first so she could see for herself.

Bad move on my part.

“Nooo,” she cried and began pulling at the straps.

“Osss, Osss,” she said running to me, begging me to take it off.

I sighed and then changed her clothes.

A similar incident occurred at her recent baptism. My grandmother sent a beautiful white dress for her to wear. At the church I attend, the babies get baptized naked and then get dressed in their white gowns.

After Maya was baptized, we took her to the church hallway to dress her, but she threw a fit when she saw the dress. We put her in it anyway and she ran around screaming, pulling at the dress like it was hurting her. She ripped off her shoes and tore off her socks, throwing them to the ground.

We finally took the dress off of her and carried her back into the church. She was naked, wearing only a diaper when we held her in front of the congregation at the end of the mass.

We turn off Dora and she screams. If I take her grocery shopping, I have to be ready to carry her because she will cry and do everything she can to get out of the cart.

I thought I learned my lesson with my 4-year-old son. “Maya is going to be whipped into shape,” I remember telling my mother awhile ago. Of course, I didn’t mean whipped in the literal sense. I meant I’m going to lay down the law, be firm, turn her into a rule follower.

Sure, Maya goes to bed better than her brother ever did and she isn’t nearly as picky of an eater. And, don’t get me wrong, she is wonderful. She is snuggly, silly and sharp and I love her sassiness. I just don’t like it directed at me.

This battle of the wills, this tantrum throwing over clothes and music is driving me insane. Maya isn’t even 2 but she’s picking her battles as if she was 16. Just what is in store for us and when will it end?

Natalie appears every Sunday on TriangleMom2Mom. To read more about Natalie, go to A Day at the Park.