I asked Little Man how he knew he was a boy. "Cuz, cuz I got hair and I got fast shoes." It seemed to make perfect sense to him. After answering, he sort of flailed around a bit and tried to do some high jumps. I think that was supposed to represent the fast shoes. And maybe the hair?

Anyway, later, I’ve got him in the tub, and I notice he’s cupping his boy-berries.
Me: “What’s going on down there, young man?”
Little Man: “My peepee hurts.”
Me: “Where?”
He stands, wipes bath bubbles away from his unmentionables, and squeezing his tiny testicles, says, “Right here, Mommy. Mommy! I got something in there!”
Me: “Those are testicles, Sweetie, and I don’t have a set but I’m pretty sure the reason that they hurt is because you’re squeezing them.”
Little Man: “What they for?”
At this point, I could hear that my husband was about to walk into the bathroom. “Ask Daddy.”

My husband walks in.
Little Man: “Daddy! Daddy! I got kettles. What they for?”
Daddy! Daddy!: “You have what?”
Me: “Testicles.”
Daddy! Daddy!: “Oh. It’s what makes you a boy.”

This seemed to satisfy Little Man, so he went back to pretending he was a motorboat making waves in the tub.

The next day I see Little Man sitting on the couch with a small Dixie cup placed on the armrest.
Me: “What’s that?”
Daddy! Daddy!: “Go look.”
Me (not liking the sound of this): “Why is there a worm in a cup on my couch?”
Little Man: “It’s Wormy, Mommy. I gonna let him crawl on your belly and tickle you.”
Daddy! Daddy! laughs.

In the end, we compromised for making Wormy a little home in one of our flowerbeds. I guess I no longer have to ask Little Man what makes him a boy. It seems fairly obvious, now.

It’s the fast shoes.

Laura appears Mondays on TriangleMom2Mom.