blogs
A Sorry State
Today's blog was going to be about when to say: "I'm sorry." Do you say it too often or not enough?
I was going to use Serena Williams, the U.S. tennis player, as an example. Serena was playing in the U.S. Open and was two points away from losing the semi-final match. She was called for a foot fault (stepping on the baseline during the serve), and she went ballistic. She yelled, cursed and shook her racquet at the lines person. The foot fault itself meant she had lost another point so it was match point for her opponent. But because of her behavior, she was given a point penalty, so her opponent won the match.
Serena’s behavior was inexcusable, and I was going to talk about how it took her two days for the red haze to fade from her eyes and for her to actually acknowledge she was wrong and apologize.
To confirm some details, I went to a sports website (msn.foxsports.com) and ended up looking at some of the reactions readers had.
I was horrified by the comments I saw. Here’s a sample:
“What people don't understand is that African-American's [sic] lack the gene necessary to feel guilt or shame.”
“Yea, when she was getting her big oversized butt kicked, the ghetto language came out of her just like other black women. Typical.”
“If I was the line judge, and the fat ape tried to hug...squash...me, I'd sue for assault. Her true colors showed.”
How about comments from other sites, like YouTube’s video of the Serena tirade:
“Hopefully, this fat chimp will be suspended and fined.”
“Every black person in high society got there by acting like an arrogant thug.”
You get the idea.
For these people, Serena’s outburst is not an issue of one person acting badly. For them, it is a confirmation of a derogatory opinion of an entire race. I’m quite sure that in his heyday, no one said that John McEnroe’s misbehavior on the tennis court was an indictment of all white people.
What’s maybe scariest is that these are not comments from the last living Confederates desperately clinging to old Dixie. These are Internet savvy adults. They could be my neighbors, my kids’ teachers or even people I think are my friends. And they still hold deep-seated beliefs that people of my race are significantly inferior.
Former President Jimmy Carter recently said that some of the criticism of President Obama is fueled by race—by a belief that an African American man should not be leading this country. Opponents say that it is not true: the issues are about policy, not skin color. I’d hate to think it’s the former, but I am not convinced it’s only the latter.
In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a lot more websites than the ones I saw where people feel free to let their “true” colors come out. And that does makes me feel sorry --for us all.
Pamela appears Tuesdays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Pamela on her blog Crazy is My Life.
Crazy Is My Life
Four kids, two schools, a bazillion sports, a messy house and 90,000 133,000 miles on my four five-year-old van. Need I say more?
Pamela appears Tuesdays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Pamela on her blog Crazy is My Life.
Comments
Interesting. My friends and I were just talking last night about how our children don't "see" race and that racism is a generational thing that is (slowly) fading away. I agreed to some degree, but I do know people my age who make no bones about their prejudices and I have to think that their words and behaviors are impacting their children. So, even if racism is fading away by generation, it's going to continue to be a slow process when comments such as those you saw are accepted or ignored.
Great post! I am totally shocked also by those comments, I would not have expected to see that either. I am very surprised that Fox Sports didn't take those comments down. Websites need to better job in their comments section of drawing the line between free speech of opinions and just plain offensive comments.
People are going to notice differences, and there's nothing wrong with that. One person has blonde hair, one person has brown. But it's when the differences are used in a derogatory way, whether it's blonde jokes or calling an African American a chimp-- there's a big problem.
Hopefully these people are the minority, but the idea that they feel comfortable stating their views in public is disturbing.
while i'm not saying that those comments are at all acceptable, i think that from their frame of mind they were on track. i went to high school in the suburbs of washington d.c. and white people were the minority. these black people weren't very respectable. the waistband of a guy's pants was down around his knees. his four sizes too big shirt was tucked-in in just the front so you could see his boxers. the girls weren't much better. why should they have even worn clothes. the shreds of fabric that they were wearing were so tight i'd be concerned that their blood circulation was being cut off.
not all white people are respectable, there's many of them who dress the way i just described. but after going to school with those people every year i have found myself being a little stereotypical. is it right? no, but it happens. i think everyone, black, white, asian, whatever, should look at themselves and how they're representing themselves and their families before they walk out of the house each morning. just fixing up your appearance a little could help you earn a little more respect.
Unfortunately, stereotyping happens all of the time. It may be grouping people in a positive (yet not altogether realistic) light, as in all Asians are good in math. It may be negative, as in all African American young males are involved in gangs. We use stereotyping to make it easier to understand groups of people. It's easier to categorize a group of people than it is to learn about each individual.Our experiences will often influence our stereotypes, but at the same time, we need to keep an open mind in order to take in new information that is contrary to our earlier held beliefs. So while I understand what stereotyping is, I don't think that was the issue in the comments I read. My concern with the comments was that they used Serena's race-- not her play, not even her admittedly bad behavior--to call her as an animal. How she dressed had nothing to do with it.