I'm glad they made a distinction between hitting with an object vs. your hand. It's just so hard for me to connect an occassional (literally 4-5 times over the course of YEARS) quick smack with your hand on the bum of a toddler to get their attention, with beating kids with pipes and belts. I know some folks attempt to lump all of these people together and say "hitting is hitting" and it should never be done, but well, I just don't see it that way myself.

An MD friend of mine who has devoted her life to researching parents who abuse children thinks the results of this study are obvious to anyone knowledgeable in the field: spanking parents ARE much more likely to abuse their children.  (I'm only talking statistics here, not a causal relationship!) The new result, that the parents are not twice as likely, or four times as likely, but NINE times as likely, is the sobering result. Another study, that any man who has ever physically struck a woman at all, in any way (a slap on the cheek, a shove against the shoulder, not necessarily with an object as in this study), even once, is more likely to abuse his wife.

First, there is a HUGE difference between spanking a child for discipline and a grown man slapping his wife or shoving her.

A parent's role is to teach a child right from wrong and teach them to make the right choices. While I am generally against spanking, I do believe that when used properly and as a last resort, it can be an effective tool to get a child's attention. I do not believe that when used properly, it leads to abuse. The problem is that a lot of people do not use it properly. The spank because they feel they have lost control. That is the absolute wrong way.

I spent 14 years married to an abuser and a slap on the cheek or a shove on the shoulder, they are abuse. The purpose is only to intiminate, dominate and put fear into the victim. And more likely than not, if there is physical violence, there are other types of abuse going on as well. Most people think only about the physical abuses, but there are 16 different types of abuse and all can have devistating effects, usually the physical abuse is not even the worst of it.

I think an important distiction between a spanking and abuse is the motivation. Is a parent spanking the child because he/she believes it will correct the misbehavior or because it will relieve the parent's anger over the misbehavior? A spanking shouldn't be a last resort because then it only comes from frustration.

Anyone who hits a child 50 or more times in a year needs to realize it's not doing any good.

THANK SOMEONE WHO CAN STAND FOR THE JUSTICE

Sorry, Q77, but you'll have to explain. I don't understand what you mean.

The key here is "everything in moderation". Spanking can be used in a way that is not abusive. Obviously, this report is extremely skewed and cannot be trusted. I can tell you right now that every single parent I know (and that's a LOT) spank their kids occasionally and not a single one of them burns, beats or abuses their children.

I was raised by very loving and firm parents and I remember getting spanked as a child. We were NEVER abused and we always knew that our parents loved us enough to discipline us. I am the person that I am today b/c of my parents careful instruction and I continue to have a strong relationship with them.

Now, spanking was not the only form of corrective discipline used in our household growing up, but it was one.

Spanking a child in the heat of anger is never condoned and can be abused. I, for one, have seen parents who self-righteously refuse to spank their kids and their kids are running wild and those same parents scream, pinch, drag kids around by their arms and lose their temper. Which is the abuse, I ask you?

If parents were equipped with all of the tools to properly discipline their children, we wouldn't have so many frustrated parents out there and so many kids running wild, completely out of control, not taught respect or responsibility or morality.

"Shepherding a Child's Heart" is a great resource book for those parents that are interested in educating themselves about discipline.

Cady
www.cadydidrooms.com

I know there is a fine line between spanking and child abuse, but I do think there is a difference. My daughter will get a tap on the hand if she does something like reach for a hot stove (for the third time) or try to run out into the parking lot, etc. She will also get a spank on the rear after time outs haven't worked and she continues her bad behavior. It is not often and it rarely hurts, mostly she laughs at me, but she doesn't like it. I am quite sure she's not abused in any way shape or form. I was spanked as a child, but I can only remember a few times. I feel that some things just need a bit more of a punishment than others and a timeout might not be enough to make her understand. She never has any bruised or marks, but she certainly learns a lesson!

Inherited Bad Habit

Application of pain to the buttocks of a youngster for the purpose of gaining their compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to discipline instead of hit.

I think the reason why television shows like Supernanny and Dr. Phil are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do .

There are several reasons why hitting kids isn't a good idea. Here are a couple of good reads:

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson

I am an older parent, 40 something, and I guess I have an old fashioned idea of discipline. I cannot stand for disrespect and out right meaness that children today are allowed to get away with. We raise our child the way we were raised. Both my husband and I were occasionally spanked as children and we spank occasionally. Usually when he is doing something dangerous like trying to run away from us in public, or outright being disrespectful by doing what we have said "NO" to. But most information about spanking I can find says it doesn't do much after 3-4 years old.
But, if he is endangering himself, it gets his attention and he does actually respond by stopping the bad behavior.