Help me. I'm in a sugar daze.

It’s worse than my usual coffee-induced state. That gradually tapers off as the day goes on.

This is different. This is a delectable, melt-in-your-mouth, chocolate, sugar hangover. And though I try my best to break the cycle, I can’t. As soon as I feel weak and sleepy, I just reach into the bag of mini Reeses and I’m brought back to the land of the living.

I don’t have much hope. There’s no end in sight. The Sugar Season is officially here.

Sugar is the season that slid in last week, a few days before Halloween arrived. It announced itself as I finally gave in and bought the candy that’s been sitting on the shelves in the cute Halloween bags since August.

The Sugar Season will hang around as I make chocolate pie, pudding pie and pumpkin pie (served with vanilla ice cream, of course) as we celebrate Thanksgiving. It will blanket December with cookie decorating parties and chocolate Santas that are always magically left in stockings. It will continue through the New Year with two family birthdays, complete with icing-loaded cupcakes (and more ice cream) and lead right into Valentine’s Day, a chocolate love fest all its own.

It finally runs out of steam right before Easter. But never fear. The Easter Bunny will force us to give back into it one last time.

The kick off celebration began on Halloween. Our tradition has been that once the boys return from trick or treating, we dump the stash on the floor. While they count, sort and trade, I pull out all the sticky, jaw breaking candy and the mystery food (A homemade bag of something from a stranger? Sorry to be wasteful, but we just don’t eat that.). They pass me the stuff they don’t like. Then, they snack. And have as much as they want.

Surely you are horrified. But in the early days, it used to be that rationing out the candy made it even more desirable for Big Guy and Little Guy. They’d want candy in their lunchboxes. Look forward to it after school. Want to snack on it after dinner. They’d negotiate number of pieces. Our entire dining experience revolved around getting to the candy.

With our “eat until you’re ready to be done” tradition, we no longer bargain. Instead, we sit. They eat. They’re done. And maybe, because there’s no haggling, they don’t seem to want as much. As a matter of fact, a few days after Halloween, I can simply bag up the leftovers and send it to work with Really Big Guy. The boys never even notice.

But I do.

I put on a strong front as the boys plow through their candy. While they offer to share, I politely decline. I’m going to pass. Stay healthy. Why have even one?

But it’s a sham. I know that once they go to bed, the temptation will be too much. I’ll hear the candy calling from the kitchen. I won’t even remember opening the wrappers as I quietly grab a handful of mini candy bars and enjoy them. All by myself. When it comes to the sugar season, I operate alone.

The past few days, as I get ready to part with the leftover candy, my heart is heavy. I am conflicted. This year, I have enjoyed my sweet treats more than usual and feel more guilty than ever.

You see, over the past months, we have significantly cut back on the amount of junk food sitting in our pantry and our freezer. I’m not suggesting we would win a medal from a nutritionist. But after watching Super Size Me, we decided to cut out the Golden Arches and all of its friends.

We then tried to eliminate as much partially hydrogenated oil and high fructose corn syrup from our diets as possible. We still indulge, but when we do, we try to make it in the most “natural” form. The fewest ingredients with the least amount of chemicals and sugar wins.

Getting the boys to adapt to our new eating habits was much easier than I expected. They haven’t felt deprived. And Halloween went as it always has – the act of trick or treating comes first, with the candy being the sidekick.

But for me, it’s different. Halloween has taken me back to another era. One not so long ago. To a pantry filled with Chips-Ahoy cookies. Not natural Peanut Butter. Chocolate Syrup. Cut and slice cookies. Need I go on?

After being “clean” for such a long time, I’m back where I was. The cravings. The over-indulging. The sugar buzz. The sick feeling the next morning. But I can’t stop. It just tastes so good.

I put on a brave, healthy face as I pack the candy up. I should be thankful that when I wake up tomorrow, it will be my last morning with a sugar hangover. The last morning that I am mad at myself for eating too many Hershey bars. Mounds bars. And Snickers bars. I can start fresh.

At least until I transition to pies. The countdown to Thanksgiving begins.

Illyse appears Thursdays on TriangleMom2Mom.