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Talk is Trash

It's time again for our weekly John Rosemond discussion. Today he rails on talking - as in talking or reasoning with kids usually does more harm than good.

In it, he tells the story of a the mom of a 5-year-old who is asked the question "Do you and Daddy hump?"

I try to reason way too much with my daughter and have been trying to cut back actually - because (as Harvey Karp told me) toddlers are like little cave boys and girls. As little beings, they're not really ready to reason ... and also not ready for certain conversations. (Though, moms of older kids help me out here, when are kids ready for the birds and the bees).

What do you think?

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slindenf's picture

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momof2JJ's picture
by momof2JJ 1 yr. ago.

During a recent discussion with my 10 yr old boy

I asked questions and based on his answers determined how far to go with the Birds and Bees at this time

 

I really had something important to tell him but I tried to keep on his level.  This can be a difficult area because I really had more to say.  I decided more detail later

nataliegott's picture
by nataliegott 1 yr. ago.

I think his response to the question about humping was great, especially the bowl of ice cream part. What a great distraction.

Overall, I love to discuss things with my son and probably do too much. However, I'm getting so much better about not reasoning with or explaining myself to my 4-year-old when I say no to something. A simple no allows me to remain calm, even when my son starts a tantrum.

brochman's picture
by brochman (not verified) 1 yr. ago.

In general, I agree that adults talk way too much to kids. I am queen of over-explaining. But I disagree with Rosemond -- as I usually do -- in this case. Blowing off the 5-year-old's question is overlooking the opportunity to teach about sex in a very simple way. Before I gave birth a year ago, I explained to my then-2 and 4-year-olds how babies are made  (daddies have sperm; mommies have eggs -- when they meet, a baby is made). They totally got it and as the older one has continued to ask questions, I've continued to answer them on his level. 

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