I'm Diane and I blog here every Wednesday...Live and Let Di. My daughter Haley is a 17 and a Senior in high school. I guess she got tired of being written about and decided you should hear from her in her own words. I must admit that I am proud of what she has written. If it touches you as it did me, I hope you will post it on your Facebook, tell your friends with teens and tweens about it and let Haley's voice of experience be heard.

Things Every High School Freshman Should Know

1. It will suck.
2. It will get better.

Today I finished my first semester of senior year or, as I like to think of it, my last first semester of high school—EVER. I cannot remember a time when I absolutely loved high school, although I am sure at a point it did feel pretty rad. Senior year has made me jaded and every other sentence is “get me OUT OF HERE” or “143 days till graduation!” but high school is about way more than getting through it and moving on to the next stage of your life. However cheesy it may sound, high school changes everybody and you will come out of it a much different person than you were when you walked in that first day and felt so intimidated by this big new school. Hopefully you will come out of it a better and more educated person, but my mom did tell me this morning that she read something in the paper about how many college graduates still lack basic problem solving and reasoning skills… Either way, at this point in my life I feel most qualified (or least qualified, honestly, but don’t knock me off my soap box just yet) to give an unbiased “review,” if you will, of high school and its impacts on students.

It is not a competition. Class rankings are a cool device for self-assessment and improvement, but your life should not be centered on that. There are always those weird overachievers like my good friend Christine, who (if I am not mistaken) is currently tied for first in my class with one other girl. Then again, she took four AP classes this semester, so she’s just nuts ;) (Hey Christine’s mom! She tells me all the time that you read my mom’s blog.) In all seriousness, though, if you are in the top 10 or 20 or however many, good for you! That is a really great thing. But if you are 93 out of a class of 390 or something like that, don’t freak out. You will still get into college, trust me I know! The grades you get in classes, which are generally not curved, are for your own self-assessment. Whatever you do, do NOT let yourself get caught up in competing for grades, ESPECIALLY not with friends. It will never turn out pretty.

Your self-worth should never be based on others. I have a joke with one of my friends where I always roll my eyes or tease people who “tag” every person they are with on their Facebook statuses. First of all, it is just plain annoying to see “Haley is with Montana, Amanda, Stephanie, Cameron, Brendan…” because nobody really cares, but it is not so hard to just say “Haley is with friends!” (which, by the way, I still refuse to do). The problem I have with those people is that they don’t think people value them for who they are and they let themselves be defined by who they hang out with. It is hard when you tell yourself you aren’t “cool” or “in the loop” if you are not invited to one party or dinner with those people because chances are, not everybody will be invited every time. You can meet a lot of really great people in high school. I am active in my school’s drama department, but I have never considered myself a “theatre kid.” I have met tons of acquaintances and made true friends with people who don’t run with my circle of friends, but there are nights when I get invited to do something and all I want to do is veg out at home with a friend or even by myself. It took me time to get to a point where I could comfortably turn down a proposal of plans without feeling like I would be missing out, but life is way less stressful now. The more I write about this, the more I feel that I should direct you to my all-time favorite book, A Most Uncommon Degree of Popularity by Kathleen Gilles Seidel. Good stuff. But really, do what you love and hang out with the people you want to hang out with because you will never impress the people who would judge you for doing so.

Mean Girls is an exaggeration… but it is not far from the truth. This is not a secret. High school girls are mean. I don’t know how much this applies to boys, but let me tell you right now, girls will ditch you, talk behind your back, be friends with you one day and ignore you the next, and post indirect jabs at you over Facebook. You will probably do at least one of those things during your time in high school, so don’t let yourself stress over it. I am a huge proponent of “forgive and forget,” but be careful of who you let back in to your life after they have hurt you time and time again. Chances are, it will happen again and I am sure you will have better friends. Eventually you will find the group of friends that will always be there for you no matter what you need. If you are lucky enough to go to high school with friends who you grew up with, hold tight to them because those friends are rare and precious gems.

This is getting extremely long and I am sure I have only scratched the surface, but I am honored that you have even read this far! If you enjoyed this, you will LOVE reading my astute observations multiple times daily on Facebook and I can be reached at haleyneer@aol.com. Oh, one more thing: Don’t do fake Facebook relationships. Take my word on this one!