Mom2Mom : Things Mom Did Today

It’s summer. I’m still a little uncertain about the season ending episode of House. There’s no indication of when the series will resume. And just this morning, I read that Brooks & Dunn are calling it quits!!! So, I decided that I would do my own little rerun for this week’s column. This is from almost three years ago in the early days of my blog, Live and Let Di. I have not missed the irony that it was only two weeks ago that I waxed rhapsodic (I just LOVE that phrase!) about marriage in this very column…

My husband, Hurley has this one teeny tiny bad habit that drives me crazy. Now let me be clear, I am NOT one of those moms who insists that she works as hard as anyone with a full-time paying job. I do a lot of work, but I do it on my timeframe for the most part, can have music playing while I do it, can take a break and lay on the couch and read if I want and even take the occasional nap. None of my full-time jobs EVER gave me those options. However, I do a great deal behind-the-scenes to keep this family afloat. So it really ~~p***** me off~~ annoys me (see…just doesn’t work as well as the “P” word) when Hurley comes home from work and immediately finds several things to criticize, "Why hasn't that tree been trimmed?,” "I could hardly walk through the garage it was such a mess.,” etc. '

With the first criticism, I'm seething. With the second, I would say, "That's two." And if he STILL didn't get the message, the third would send me into an orbit of muttered curses, Ativan and revenge-planning. I even told him, "Look, I don't mind you pointing out things that need to be done, but I would appreciate it if you would find three things to compliment first!" That did nothing. Then I had a brilliant idea. As you walk in from the garage, immediately facing you is a chalkboard which my friend Barb got me for a house-warming gift from David Anthony’s in Fuquay. (David Anthony’s is THE place to get any gift for any occasion and no matter what you buy, the wrapping is DIVINE) The heading of the chalkboard reads: The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place - George Benard Shaw. No Mom, Amy, Haley and the rest of you who revel in catching me in a spelling error, that is not a typo, Mr. Shaw's name is actually misspelled on the chalkboard which I think lends a note of irony to the oh-so-true quote that summarizes the single biggest problem in my house, my marriage and my family.

This past week I started a new habit, on top of the chalkboard I wrote THINGS MOM DID TODAY. The first day was very busy and the list included doing three loads of laundry, going to the grocery store, volunteering in my son's classroom, paying the bills and changing all the light bulbs that were out. My point was not missed. On the second day I listed taking in the dry cleaning, taking the dog to the vet, going to the bank, picking up a book Haley needed for school, etc.

On a typical day, I get up, drink coffee and just jump in the car in my PJ's or something I throw on real quick to take Rory to school at 7:30. On day 3 of my chalkboard strategy, I had a PTA volunteer meeting at school, so after sleeping in just a bit, I took a shower, put on make-up, put on real clothes, etc. and then took Rory to school. As I was leaving, Hurley said, "Just wait until you see your list today!" So on a 5-minute run-in between obligations, I noticed the previous day's list had been erased and items 1 and 2 had been added.