I headed down to the Lower School this morning to deliver files and mail from the high school when I saw Flipper holding her teacher's hand, the rest of the class nowhere in sight. My heart fell -- this could only mean that she was sick and they were coming to get me so I could take her home.

"She's tired," her teacher explained. I asked if Flipper was sick, and she said no, just tired. Since I want her teacher to like me, and think I am not Totally Evil Mommy, I restrained myself from saying, "She's tired? WHO CARES. Now get back to class!" But restrain myself I did. After a short, brutal interrogation, "Are you sick? Are you hurt?No? Then what's the problem?" I reminded her that if we went home, which wasn't going to happen, she had to get into bed and stay there the rest of the day, no DVD (which she can watch when she is sick) no nothin'. Bed only. Then, I pressed her for an answer. Since Flipper is wise, she said (in a very small voice) "I'll think I'll stay here." "GOOD!!" I could barely contain my glee/relief. Then I fled, before she could change her mind. I mean, tired?? This from the kid that didn't sleep through the night until she was 3 years old? I'LL SHOW YOU TIRED, FLIPPER!!

Then, I fled. I returned to the high school and mentioned this exchange to a teacher, and she mentioned that the exclusive private school where she taught previously actually had a small ward with beds set aside for students that needed a nap during the day. She was somewhat horrified at this practice; "we live in an indulgent society." I have friends that probably would have taken their tired child home, but I fear that precedent, I really do. Sick is sick and we stay home, tired is icky but we go to school. I think this issue will rear it's ugly head again and again, particularly as we hurtle down the rocky path of adolescence. But how do you balance being kind and sensitive to your child's very real needs, and still maintain some sort of order and commitment in their lives? I have a friend that has a family-wide policy of Mental Health Days; every member of her family from the 8 year old on up to high-schoolers are allowed a certain number of MHDs per school year, to be taken at their discretion, no questions asked by the parents. I can actually see myself doing something like this, giving Flipper a few days a year. But not yet. Not now, not at 6. And this begs the obvious question...how many days do I get??

Leigh appears Fridays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Leigh on her blog Flipper and Me.