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Waiting
There are several comfy chairs in the orthodontist’s office where I am sitting. When we arrive for each appointment, I cast my eyes around the waiting room to see which of the comfy chairs best meets my requirements, which are:
1. away from the toddler with the green stuff coming out of her nose and a cough like an old guy who has smoked three packs of Camels (unfiltered) a day for the last 50 years.
2. away from the speakers playing WQDR, which in the morning is mostly inane listener call-ins and car dealer advertisements (my disdain for radio and TV in public places is a topic for another week).
3. away from anyone I don’t know who might want to make small talk.
This morning I’m going to be sitting here for a while. My 13-year old son is getting his braces put on. We’ve been here several times already for assessments, X-rays, discussions of financial arrangements and explanations of the high tech “appliances” to undo the damage from three years of pacifier (he called it wo-wo) use. OK, the baby is crying now, surely spewing even more diseased saliva into the environment. I’m so glad I didn’t sit over there. Oh, cool, the kid with the baby sister was just here for a recheck, so they are leaving. I think I’ll ask the receptionist if I can make my son’s next appointment on a day they aren’t going to be here! Before they walked out the door, the baby projectile sneezed, tempting me to pull my coat over my face to avoid infection.
Prior to today’s visit, I filled out more paperwork than I did buying our house. I wrote an obscenely large check, choosing to pay the full amount in advance because it got us a 5 percent discount. And 5 percent of way-too-much is no small change! I think I am paying more for his braces than my parents paid for my four years of college. Of course, I had a scholarship, but still! Do you think they give scholarships for braces?
I’m a little annoyed that they don’t have public Wi-Fi here. Fortunately I can write my blog posts on the computer without being on the Internet. But while I’m here, I could be seeing everyone’s status on Facebook and deleting e-mails promising me Oprah’s weight loss secret. Whenever I’m headed to something like this where I know I’m going to be waiting, I prepare scrupulously because, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m kind of irritable. So I fill my bag with stuff to distract me from my irritation. [Note to self…the QDR stuff is REALLY annoying, bring iPod headset next time.] I have the book I’m reading, "Ireland" by Frank Delaney (it’s kind of a Michener-light story of the history of Ireland). I have my knitting. I have my computer. Dang, I wish I had that headset. I could be listening to my all time favorite iTunes purchase, Ambient White Noise for Sleep by Parasme. It is the best way to tune out all outside noise distractions.
Now another parent in the waiting room is on his cell phone talking with a friend about another friend and his wife who are having troubles. The husband left. The wife is devastated. Public cell phone talk…another topic for a future post! I didn’t realize guys gossiped like this!
What a nice surprise! Someone I know AND like just came in, so I got to chat with her while her kid was in and out in about 15 minutes. Relating to last week’s post about growing up so fast, her son who was on my son’s baseball team when they were about 6 is now about 6 feet tall!
What is the point of this post? It was not in my “contract” with The N&O that I had to have a point so I take that as free license to ramble about whatever slice of my life is on my mind. I hope you liked this slice. And moreso, I hope you will leave a comment about YOUR waiting room experiences and even better, YOUR irritability! It would make me feel much better!!!
Di appears Wednesdays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Di at her blog Live and Let Di.
Live and Let Di
Diane is a TriangleMom2Mom featured blogger, appearing every Wednesday.
I try to be the voice of Moms with teens. My daughter Haley is 16. She's at that age where she is convinced that I know nothing. I'm thinking I'll seem a lot smarter when she's 22. We bond over Broadway shows. My son Rory is 13. He started reading the sports page when he was 5 and his passion for anything sports-related has grown ever since. This year he beat out 9 guys in their 40s to win his Fantasy Football League. Watch for him on ESPN in a few years.
My husband Hurley works from home, but travels quite a bit. When he's gone, I usually take a break from making dinner and cleaning the house. Oh, I don't do those things regularly when he's here either! Our parenting philosophy is "choose your battles." The only problem is that we often choose different battles. It keeps it interesting!!!
Diane appears Wednesdays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Diane on her blog Live and Let Di.
Comments
I like your slice of life. It's really what most of us live, I think. My orthodontist days are coming, I fear. I'll look around for that ortho scholarship. (Pre-requisites: good grades on brushing, high score on flossing?)
FYI--If you have itunes on your laptop, pack a spare pair of headphones in your computer bag, then anytime you want, plug in and tune out.
Like preparing for a day in the airport or doctors office, you have to be mentally prepared and in the right frame of mind to wait. Plan ahead, think about what you'll need, then settle in. (And introverts like me avoid eye-contact.)
This helps in three ways:
1) You'll be more comfortable because you spent 20 minutes packing everything you need into an over-sized tote bag, and
2) using the "reverse jinx" phemonenon, your wait will be shorted because you are so prepared. (Conversely, if you were utterly ill-prepared with nothing to do, your wait will be much longer than usual. It just happens this way.)
3) If you get into the mind-set of a long wait, you will be pleasantly surprised if it's shortened -- Keep expectations low.
I was called for jury duty on Tuesday and packed whatever I needed for a long day of waiting around. To my amazement, I was excused after 90 minutes! What a nice surprise. I hardly made a dent in my book.
Do you have anything pleasant to say about anything? How about I'm glad I'm able to PAY for my son to have braces? (The N&O is laying of real reporters and they have YOU under contract?) Or, how about I'm glad to be alive? Or I'm glad I'm not having chemo or radiation? Remind me not to read your blog again unless I want to be depressed. With so much negative in the world, I'll spend my time reading someone who has something positive to share.
Triangletwins ... I had jury duty a year ago and was actually disappointed that I didn't have to wait longer than a couple of hours! I was looking forward to a day where I couldn't, by law, do anything else.
And, for the record, critterluver, Diane receives no compensation for writing these posts. She can't even participate in the Mom2Mom contests.
Sarah (site editor and a reporter who might get laid off)
I have wondered if I have a strange type of OCD...I will not touch a magazine in a doctor's waiting room due to a fear of the germy hands that touched it prior to my arrival. I keep a tote of books, needlepoint and magazines in my car to get me through doctors' visits and ball practices; reorganizing it as needed each Saturday.
I found your slice of life to be hilarious. Very similar to the observations I make regularly.
I'm sorry to have offended critterluver, but not sorry to have voiced my truth. I'm sure he/she will not have to be reminded not to read my posts, he/she just won't...and that's fine, just like it's fine that I like to watch 30 Rock and some other people don't!
But, to the rest of the readers, as Sarah pointed out, my reference to a "contract" was totally tongue-in-cheek. I do not get compensated monetarily...but I've been compensated by meeting some really cool bloggers and readers both online and in person.
I think many people feel the normal irritations of life, regardless of how bountiful their blessings are...waiting for an interminable red light to turn green, noticing that the lunch they carefully prepared for their middle schooler has been left on the counter, getting to work and realizing they forgot their own lunch at home.
I think most Moms hold themselves to absurdly high standards and feel guilty when they show irritation with their children, their situations, etc. I like the common ground that I feel when I come here. Yes, even tall, thin Ilyse worries about her weight. Pamela has road rage! Laura (egad!) sweats at the gym! And Jennifer hates Candyland!!! Leigh let her daughter ride her bike without a helmet! Bonnie giggled with glee when her husband had a tough day with the kids! Natalie told us of her secret babysitter addiction!
Well, tie us all up and throw us into the bad mother dungeon!!! Somehow, I think we'd end up laughing and having fun in there and making each other feel like it's OK that our lives and our thoughts are not perfect all the time.
Pamela...about that "spare pair of headphones," exactly where are they? We have more iPods than people here but a freaky lack of headphones.
I love all the things Moms are saying they pack in their "waiting tote bags." Now, there is a GREAT idea for a baby shower...a tote bag filled with stuff Moms need to get through waiting for all of those pediatrician appointments, carpool lines, meetings that don't start until all the late people get there, etc.
Glad to know the N&O (which I pay for each day) isn't paying her. Thank you for letting me know.
Wow! I took this is a light hearted, tongue in cheek commentary...it didn't strike me as negative....funny what different impressions people can have reading the same thing.
I thought this post was very funny (well, it would be to everybody else who didn't hear this kind of stuff after every orthodontist appointment from their mothers). I was disheartened to see critterluver's comment, though. This is obviously the first post he/she has read by Di, and it's sad to know that there are people who make extreme snap judgments based on first impressions. With that said, what about the fact that she DOES pay for braces or even goes and sits in the waiting room in the first place? Trust me, with all that she does, she has every right to complain about the small irritating things that everybody experiences many times in their lives.
Sometimes I get extra irritated when I have to put out financially, too. I had that experience at the dentist -- I had to put out a lot of $$$$$$$$ for a crown that insurance wouldn't cover and it made me particularly surly about each inconvienence associated with the office: the wait, the limitations of scheduling the follow-up appt, the way they wanted payment up front, etc.
....
"disdaughter" is obviously my daughter Haley and that comment absolutely made my day!
I think critterluver needs to go find her sense of humor, wherever she misplaced it. I thought this blog entry was a riot and so true to life.
I once took my daughter for oral surgery (before the days of laptops) but I packed four books, a couple of catalogs, a magazine, and my Franklin Planner. After we left the dentist's office, I fell and broke my leg. After an ambulance ride and waiting in the ER for hours, I needed surgery. Meanwhile, I read the better part of a book and made lists in my planner for all the things that would need to be done when I got home.
I can hardly wait for Di's posts about intrusive music and TV in public and about public cell phone conversations (two huge pet peeves of mine).
"I hope you will leave a comment about YOUR waiting room experiences and even better, YOUR irritability! It would make me feel much better!!!"
Hey critterluver, way to reply in the spirit of the post! I think you nailed your irritability beautifully with a well-worded, if misspelled, post.
My guess is you will continue to read and comment, if only to voice your negative opinion about Di's negative opinion...it's very meta of you.
Di, love your comment and that you keep it real, debunking the myth of the perfect mom week by week!
In reply to triangletwins...it makes you wonder if anyone remembers who the customer is, right? Yes, I am paying for the luxury of waiting 20 minutes past my appointment time, filling out the same information on 12 different forms (don't you sometimes want to ask if you can just jump behind the desk and type it in? it would be much faster) and being unable to schedule around little things like, oh, your ability to work to pay for the services!
As to JDK19350, now THAT is prepared...to be covered for the original appointment PLUS a completely unanticipated event that follows!!! I'm sure if my kids are reading this they are puzzling, "There were days before laptops? The horse and buggy ride to the appointment must have been long."
And KDJmom3...don't you worry...debunking the theory of the perfect Mom is something you can ALWAYS count on me for! That...and ending the occasional sentence with a preposition!