Today, Melissa Johnson, clinical psychologist on WakeMed's pediatric development team, fields a question from a mom who has a three-year-old who forgets to have on her "listening ears" all the time.

The question: My three-year-old is having a lot of problems listening lately. On the most day-to-day things, she refuses to cooperate from getting dressed to getting her teeth brushed. We've been taking away her toys and other treats and requiring her to earn them back for good behavior. But that tactic doesn't seem to be working any more. Anything else we can do?

The answer: Preschoolers change so fast that parents often find they need to adapt discipline approaches almost as often as buying new shoes! Some general principles might be helpful.

First, any time there is a significant change in your child's behavior, make sure that there are no physical or environmental factors that might be playing a role. If your child isn't feeling well due to a physical problem, they won't cooperate as well, so a call or trip to your pediatrician or family physician's office may be a good place to start. Changes in the household, whether negative or positive, such as financial stresses or a new arrival, can have a surprisingly large impact on preschoolers.

If you've ruled out those possibilities, think about ways to incorporate positive motivators in to your daily routines. Many three-year-olds enjoy putting a sticker on a chart after they accomplish tasks or cooperate with an activity, especially if there is a little celebration after enough stickers are earned. For negative behavior, make sure there is a natural or logical connection between the behavior and the consequence, so the child learns the connection between cooperation (or the lack thereof) and results.

There are several wonderful resources for Wake County parents with questions like yours. Project Enlightenment, an agency affiliated with the public school system, provides free or low-cost classes and one-on-one consultation for parents of children from birth through the end of kindergarten, and they also have a wonderful resource center with a wealth of books and videos for parents. Give them a call at 856-7774, or check their Web site.

At WakeMed, I will be offering a seminar on discipline options for parents of preschoolers at the WakeMed Apex Healthplex on March 30. The ideas mentioned above will be discussed in much more detail. This will also an opportunity to hear what other parents have found helpful during this fun but challenging period of childhood.

Here's more information about the March 30 event:

Timeout from Timeout: Discipline Alternatives for Your Preschooler
Free
Monday, March 30
6:30 pm – check-in; 7 pm seminar
WakeMed Apex Healthplex, Apex
120 Healthplex Way (Corner of Apex Peakway and Hwy 55)
Some children need time, not just a time out. Maybe there’s another choice. Pediatric psychologist Melissa Johnson, PhD, offers insight to help parents of pre-schoolers use effective strategies to respond to negative behavior and encourage positive behavior.
To register, call 919-350-STAR (7827)

If you have a question for an expert, e-mail it to me.

Check out our other daily themes at TriangleMom2Mom:

MONDAY: Meet!
TUESDAY: Ask!
WEDNESDAY: Eat!
THURSDAY: Play!
FRIDAY: Out!
WEEKEND: Relax!