The moment I knew I was pregnant, I looked for help, advice, instructions. "What to Expect When You're Expecting" became my World Book Encyclopedia. What I should feel, what I should eat, how the baby would develop -- all was laid out for me.
 
Go to Olive Garden, but eat chicken for protein, instead of a creamy high fat pasta Alfredo, the book advised. (I didn"t necessarily follow all of the advice.) Keep exercising. (See parenthesis above.) Get a body pillow to make sleep more comfortable.  (Now THAT, I did.)
 
When my baby was born, I moved on to "What to Expect the First Year" so I could know just when my child should begin to see colors, recognize which cry was from hunger, which one was from sleepiness and which one might be colic.  I augmented my library with books by Penelope Leach, T. Berry Brazelton and the entire American Academy of Pediatrics.
 
As my baby grew older and more babies came along, I became more experienced.  I’d glance through those books during pregnancy and infancy, but got more of my advice from other moms or from the occasional Parents Magazine.
 
Eventually, the reading fell off as the majority of my parenting experience was gained in the lab.  And that has served me well.
 
Now, however, I’m looking for another book.  Not specifically a parenting book and not so much to solve a particular problem, but one that can give me that advice that can only be gained in hindsight.  Books that will answer questions like:
 
How much longer will my sweet pre-adolescent daughter still come to me for advice, and think I’m wise?
 
How long until she goes through and finishes the “adults are idiots” phase and becomes the outstanding woman I know she can be?
 
Will my kids ever learn to take care of the little things, like homework, that ultimately end up being big things?
 
Is my nagging my kids about their rooms, homework, chores, etc. helpful long-term?
 
Will my children have happy, healthy and productive lives?
 
Even though we are running around in the midst of busy family life, eventually the kids will grow up and move out.  What should I be doing now that will help my kids stay close as adults?
 
What should I do now that will strengthen my marriage for ten years down the road?
 
So as always when I need advice, I want to find a book that answers my questions.  I even know the name of the book. It’s called: “What I’ll Know Then that I Wish I Knew Now.”
 
Unfortunately, it doesn’t exist. But you know how you look back on situations that you encountered either in school or with your children and it’s now so crystal clear?  You have the distance, the experience and maturity to understand the situation in a way you couldn’t at the time.
 
Since the book doesn’t exist, maybe we should start planning it.  I’ve told you what questions I’d put in it.  How about you? What do you wish you knew now, instead of having to wait 10 years?

Pamela appears Tuesdays on TriangleMom2Mom. Read more about Pamela on her blog Crazy is My Life.