thats a good question... while it appears to me as though there is a rise in these type of crimes committed by teens, i wonder if it may be that we are just hearing about it more??

I think that the world is becoming more and more exposed to these kind of things which has to have an impact on our youth and their actions. Even small things like language. There are words said on television now that would not have been accepted even 10 years ago. Society is becoming desensitized to violence, swearing and sex and it's the youth that's being affected!

Amanda

I don't think that society is to blame. The core of society is the family and if the family has broken down to the point where parents are no longer knowing where their kids are and what they are doing, then violence is inevitable. The young teenager who decides to beat and rape someone doesn't just wake up one day with the inclination. My bet is that he's involved in some heavy online pornography which resulted in acting out what he'd been filling his head with.

The problem there, is that parents aren't aware of who kid's friends are and what they are viewing online. The internet is a cesspool now of degrading images and parents need to be on their toes especially when it comes to our young men and protecting their minds from these influences.

Any family study points out the incontrovertible fact that young men need a strong father figure in their lives to teach them self control, diligence and give them strong parameters. Teen age boys who have a strong relationship with their father are significantly less likely to deviate from the straight and narrow.

Parenting has never been more important as it is now. It requires awareness, wisdom and a lot of prayer.

:)

Cady

www.cadydidrooms.com

I am not sure, but it does scare me! I almost 99% blame the parents. The problem is, too many parents these days are helicopter parents, and when their kid gets a taste of freedom, they don't know when to stop. Too many parents can not find a medium in raising their children...they are either too lenient, or too strict.

I actually think that being raised by my grandparents, gave me a totally different outlook on life, and more of a respect for people, then many of my peers.

Becka+Chris= Nick 8 Michele 5 Wyatt 18 months
www.learnandgrowtogether.com

Personally, I think that the term "helicopter parents" is a term coined by the liberal media to mock parents who want to, for example, be notified if their teenage daughter is going to have an abortion. (just to name one example)

I hardly think helicopter parenting is the issue. A big issue is the humongous LACK of parents being around and parents using the internet and MTV as babysitters.

Here's my thought process......did the early pioneers have issues with their teenage sons rampaging through the schoolhouses with the guns that they used for hunting? They all owned guns back then and large hunting knives. No? Well, this is the first time in the history of our world that parents and especially fathers spend the LEAST amount of time with their children. There has been no other time in history that this has occurred. The breakdown is in the home. It's quantity time that matters for children.

All throughout history, sons were with their fathers, working side by side with them, learning a trade, learning to hunt, etc. It is the parent's positive influence on a child's mind that makes a difference in their outlook. Give me a child that has spent very little time with his or her parents and I'll show you one extremely angry kid.

:)

Cady

www.cadydidrooms.com

Actually,the term helicopter parents means those parents who will call their kids college if they get a bad grade and complain and threaten the Dean, or go to their grown adult child's job interview. THAT is helicopter parenting. Wanting to know if your child is going to have an abortion, is, to me anyway, concerned parenting. But that is a whole other post!

Becka+Chris= Nick 8 Michele 5 Wyatt 18 months
www.learnandgrowtogether.com

And here's another story today about four Wake teens charged with murder of another teen - an Eagle Scout no less. http://www.newsobserver.com/news/crime_safety/story/1319963.html

Kids go through changes, thats just life. at his age, he was just trying to find himself. stuck between a man and a boy. I would like to point out that an adult, the neighbor of the vac home, Dickie Miller could have/should have called the police when he saw the lights on that hadn't be on for a year or more. but his "i wanted to mind my own business" attitude cost this young man his life. then to top it off, he didn't call the police after hearing gunshots. thats a problem to me. he could have stopped these kids just by picking up the phone and calling 911. the police would have broke up the party and the young man would be alive. this Dickie Miller should have murder charges placed on him to or atleast accessory to the crime. "i wanted to mind my own business" geez glad hes not my neighbor

http://www.newsobserver.com/news/crime_safety/story/1319963.html

That liberal media...scapegoat for anything we disagree with. Whatever it's called, helicopter parenting is a phenomenon that probably means many different things to different people. I wouldn't think that a person who wanted to know if her child was having an abortion would generally be considered a helicopter parent. It may be a new term, but I was aware of the type as long ago as my freshman year of college.

My parents had given me measures of freedom as I was growing up and they increased my freedoms based on my behavior. When I entered the dorm as a freshman, it was clear which kids' parents had managed every aspect of their lives...when they studied, how much they studied, how much money they spent, etc. My roommate didn't know how to balance social life and academics because her parents had never let her do it herself. She ended up on academic probation after the first semester.

Another girl whose parents had never allowed her to date ended up spending several nights the first week sleeping at the men's dorm.

Although I don't agree with helicopter parenting in concept, I would attribute some of the heinous acts perpetrated by teens to the absence of parenting. Whether parents are physically or emotionally absent, many teens are growing up with no moral compass because they haven't had anyone to pattern their behavior after. What do y'all think?

I agree completely. My oldest is just turning 13 this month (gulp) so I'm still not sure how all the details will pan out, but it seems logical and reasonable to balance reasonable safety concerns with healthy freedoms. I wonder if the oldest is always the guninne pig.

I think the oldest is definitely the guinea pig!!! I'm second and youngest and I think it was so much easier for my parents to give me freedoms than it was for them to let my sister do anything. That would be an interesting sociological study...if I was a sociologist or something...do oldest children and younger children parent differently as a result of how they were parented? I kind of hate parent as a verb...but, whatever!

WOW..I butchered the word guinea. Yes, I have a REALLY interesting book about birth order. The author swears he can always figure out birth order based on people's personalities and habits. I FULLY believe you have no choice but to have different expectations for your kids and it does affect their personality. There's no way I can reproduce the same responsibilities for my youngest that my oldest HAD to have. You sometimes hear siblings tell stories about their childhood as though they grew up in different families, and the author contends that they actually did. The point of view from a youngest to an oldest sibling can vary greatly!

Helicoptering parenting didn't come out of nowhere. It evolved as an unhealthy insecure response to the frustration and panic at not being able to parent. It is not easy to parent kids today. It aint the fifties out there anymore, guys. It's a helluva long way from the eighties.

The real problem in society that needs to be addressed is the LACK of parenting, not the helicopter parents. Ninety percent of the helicoptered kids will escape and be okay ( a few get pathological, and I am NOT condoning helicoptering. BUT the murders, rapes, drug and other major risk behavior, amoral behaviors, problems that are more dangerous in todays teens (more dangerous statistically, and by any other measure) ARE more prevalent today than fifty years ago.

My solution? Families need to spend more time together. The more shared activities, talking, etc. LONG BEFORE the kids are teens. Parents who cant share time and their lives (read values and morality which doesn't happen in a few hours a week) with their 2 to 8 yr olds well, guess what. When the kids are 13-18, families are no longer able to share their time or lives anymore because the kids have learned how to be part of their society - a whirlwind of commitments that are peer not family, oriented.

Last night was my 20 year old bookclub's annual holiday dinner. Almost all of us have 15 to 20 year olds. Our bookclub began when we had infants and were desperate for any intelligent escape from diaper changing. Almost all of us are graduate school educated, professional, socially conscious, community active, "nice" people with loving stable homes, commited spouses. The stories of our teens' lives seem like they grew up in the projects: murder, suicide, sexual assault, drug overdoses, incarceration... need I go on? (Most of our teens are fine, thanks, but our teens' friends, neighbors, and classmates that touch their lives are no longer with us)

Teens have to be responsible, independent, self-aware,saavy, and rebellious (rebellious of their peers and society, not just authority) to face the barrage of violence that comes at them at a very early age. If kids aren't cared about, they wont care for each other either. If you know any kids that have no one to love them, then you find a way to love them, even if they have nothing to do with your life. " It takes a village" may come out of liberal media--but it does take a village. And the village isn't doing its job.

Well said, A1Mama! As I've heard it said, "I've seen the village and I don't want it raising my family!"

There is one thing that can never be stressed enough.. THE FAMILY!!! It's not quality time that matters, it's quantity time!

Be brutal and slash events from your social calendar, rearrange your life in any way possible to spend important quantity time with your kids. When was the last time we just sat and had a good conversation with our teen? Played a board game with them? Laughed?

Too many families today are too busy for the family. Make time. Time with a parent is something that children all long for not matter how old they are.

Cady

www.cadydidrooms.com