The last few days, Little Man has decided that making it to the toilet on time is overrated. Instead, he would rather stay in bed, reading (since he can barely get the alphabet out, reading is really more of a page-flipping thing while murmuring phrases from each book). This is faulty logic.

Little Man (poking me): “Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. I gotta show you sometin.”
Me: Crack open an eye, see Little Man’s silouhette against the window.
Little Man: “You awake, Mommy?”
Me (feeling around for my glasses so I can find out it’s five AM): “No.”
Little Man: “Then why you talking?”
Me (noticing he is missing clothes): “Why are you naked?”
Little Man: “I gotta show you something.”
Me (interest now piqued – not in a good way): “Where’s your jama?”
Little Man scurries out of the room.
Me (roll out of bed and follow the tiny butt down the hall): “This can’t be good.”

I find him in his room, standing by his bed, pointing at a wet spot.
Me: “What’s that?” knowing perfectly well what that was.
Little Man: “I went peepee.”
Me: “Why did you go on your bed?”
Little Man (not the least perturbed by this line of questioning): “Cuz I was reading the Jungle Book.”
Me (starting to pull sheets and mattress cover off the bed): “Next time, you should try to make it to the toilet. You know, so you won’t pee on yourself.”
Little Man: “But I was reading a book,”
Me: “Exactly.”
Little Man (a little too proud): “and it came out super fast!”
Me: “Next time, see if you can race it to the toilet.”
Little Man looks at me, unsure if this is really a good idea.
Me (noticing a lack of soiled clothes): “What did you do with your jamas and underwear?”

Little Man leads me to the bathroom, where I see his dirty clothes and a pile of wipes he’d gathered from CC’s changing table to clean himself off with. I gather the evidence, load the washer, and remake the bed. Little Man watches, waiting until I’m done. Then he yawns, says “I tired, Mommy,” and goes to bed.

Me: “I’m tired, too.” I pad back to my room. Five minutes later I hear the slap of a toilet lid being slammed. Then a jubilant, “I WON, MOMMY!!!” which, of course, wakes up CC. CC, unlike Little Man, decides not to go back to bed. Guess my day has started. Oh well. You win some, you lose some.

Laura appears Mondays on TriangleMom2Mom.