I am in the same predicament with my 2 year old. I end up keeping a bag of chicken nuggets in the freezer, and definitely have peanut butter and jelly on hand just in case. I always give her a little bit of what we are having on her plate. Sometimes she eats a lot, sometimes a little, and sometimes nothing at all. I ask her to try it if she says she doesn't want/like it. She might take a bite and eat it all, or spit it out. But at least she tried it.

I've always felt she would let me know when she was hungry, so if she didn't want what we were having, then she could have a healthy alternative later. I've also started giving her a choice of "one or the other" to give her a little bit of say in what she eats. It may take a little more time for me, but at least I'm getting her to eat.

I usually give my kids whatever my husband and I are eating. Whether or not they eat it, is a different question.

I try not to give snacks before dinner. This way they are hungry and more willing to try new things.

My daughter (2 years old) sometimes fusses. I give her a couple of moments of crying/fussiness and she usually gives in and eats the meal. If by chance, she still doesn't eat, then I do give in, and give her something additional-bread, cheese, etc., but I don't make her a whole different meal and the food that she didn't originally want to eat still stays on her plate.

With my 4 year old, he is very willing to try our food. Sometimes we do a little bribery (you don't get dessert, unless you try your broccoli, etc.). I don't make him finish everything on his plate, but he does have to at least try everything.

I don't make anything extra for her (only exception is if she's sick).

I just make sure there is something that she likes - she loves peas, salad, most vegetables really, rice, pasta, bread (any starch). So there is always something that she likes. If that's all she wants to eat - fine - she can fill up on that. But I don't make anything extra for her.

We also do a last call on food every night around 6:45. (We usually eat around 5:30). We only offer her what was left on her plate (and any leftovers, she can get seconds, thirds). So if she's still hungry, she'll usually end up eating what she left on her plate.

Of course - I'm very lucky. She's not real picky. So there's a pretty broad range of things she likes.

I just thought of one idea for you-does your daughter like ketchup? Both of my kids love to dip their food in ketchup. It doesn't have to be that either. My daughter is definitely a southerner-she loves her Ranch dressing! I cut up cucumbers and tomatoes and she dips them in Ranch. Maybe find a sauce or dressing for your daughter to "dip" her food into.

One more to help-Toothpicks. Of course this needs supervision, but my kids love the samples at Harris Teeter. On one of my more desperate days, I cut up bananas and let my kids eat them with the toothpicks. It's the novelty of it that they enjoy.

I should have added that - ketchup is a great idea. We use a lot of that in my house.

Remember when they sold the green or blue ketchup - maybe they still do. that was kind of gross.

Wow, lots of great ideas here! Thanks, ladies! Last night, our son ate his chicken after he was promised a cookie and then he said, "Wow, it's pretty good!" He loves his starches. Our daughter is only 5 mos, but I think she's going to be a good eater. The other day she ate baby squash with gusto!

Alice Osborn, MA
www.aliceosborn.com

Most of the time we fix something different for our 3-year old. He is a very picky easier. Meal time used to be a huge battle, but we've learned that the time together is much more peaceful and enjoyable if we give him something we know he will eat. If we make something he likes (like pasta) he'll have what we're having.

James thinks it's fun to 'dip' his food in things like ketchup and barbecue sauce, but then won't eat it. He likes everything plain.

As he's gotten a little older he's gotten better about trying new things. His new favorite food is asparagus. Don't ask me why.

Even though his eating habits are different than mine, he's a happy and healthy little boy. I know he'll eat and ask for food when he's hungry. My pediatrician told me a while back not to force him to eat if he's not interested. It will only teach him to eat when he's not hungry.

Kids' palates are more sensitive to spices than adults' are. My husband and I tend to eat a lot of spicy things, but I don't "short order cook" to my kids' tastes. They eat the same things that the adults do at dinner, but components of the meal, not necessarily the full-on-flavor version.

For example, if I'm making blackened chicken with black beans and jasmine rice, I'll do a breast or two for the kids without the spice, and leave chopped green onions and cilantro out of their portions of the rice. We serve lots of things on the side with this meal- lime wedges, shredded cheese, black olives, tomatoes, lettuce, red onion, green peppers, sour cream. Everyone gets to build their own plate using the things that they like to eat, and the flavors are seperated so that they can be tasted individually and aren't so overwhelming.

Remember, kids are only going to eat foods if you give them to them. If you never give them chicken curry, or steamed clams, they're (while they're young anyway) never going to eat them!

It's also helped in my house (my kids are 4 and 6) to institute the "if you don't like it, be quiet about it or you can go to your room and not eat until the next meal" rule. I've been trying to instill in my kids that they need to be grateful for any food that's put on the table, and that complaints about not liking this or that are not acceptable. It sounds kind of harsh, but it only takes one instance to get the message across. With so many people in the world without food at all, it just seems so (insert really frustrated adjective here) to have to beg and plead with a child to eat healthy, nutritious food.

Wow, this post ended up being a lot longer than I expected it to be!

This is an issue that DH and I have struggled with. When she was tiny, he'd tend to keep trying to give her new things if she didn't like what we offered her initially, just to keep her eating. He's calmed down a lot on that.

Now that she's older (2.5), I do not cook special dinners for my daughter. She's required to try one bite of everything on her plate, then she can get down. We're trying to let that be it -- she eats what we have or she doesn't eat -- but it's difficult some days. Yesterday, for instance, we tried amaranth for the first time. Frankly, DH and I really disliked it (it tastes like cornsilk. Feh), so we couldn't blame DD for not eating hers. She got a string cheese after dinner to round out her meal. Normally, though, we'd just offer her the rest of her dinner if she claimed hunger.

The other side of this is that I make sure her breakfast and lunch are foods that she enjoys and that she can eat plenty of. And I do try to make dinners with at least one component she'll usually eat. That way, I don't worry so much when she only eats three bites of dinner.

I try to offer variety so there is usually something in there that they like. I let them eat what they want & then the meal is over.

But if there is one item they like in particular and ask for more and more of it, instead of piling on more of that same item, I might use it for leverage.

For instance, my son really likes pasta, but might leave his veggies un-touched. So he'll gobble up his pasta right away & ask for more. I might say, "When you eat 3 carrots, then you can have 3 more pasta noodles." He'll gobble up the carrots. I'll give him three more pasta noodles, then try again with something else on his plate.

I don't want to be a short-order cook. That seems like a slippery slope.